Once using incontinence underwear, does one stop using the bathroom?

I typed my reply twice and had it lost when I logged in, only to log in and have it save the "test" post. My apologies, but I give up for now.

vvvv

I'm no expert, and guys are different than gals, but can tell you how it was with Mom. At about 95, she had some leakage, so started using the pads for that but still used the bathroom. At around 98, she kept telling us she needed underwear. We figured out why it was disappearing when we found them in the garbage with fecal material in it. She had ruined her bowels with laxatives and had occasional bouts of uncontrolled "explosions". She didn't know enough or didn't want to wash it, so at that point we bought her only pull up disposables. By 99 she sometimes put soiled ones (urine only) in drawers and under bathroom cabinet or hamper (thinking they were washable pants) When she went to AL, she was on their incontinence program only but she was very independent and would still use the bathroom on a regular basis, so I'm assuming it was for the more frequent accidents she needed the pads. She was very proud. After she fell and went into the NH, she was not able to walk without assistance, but she still asked to be taken to the bathroom when she had to go (and she was 101). It wasn't until she broke her pelvis and couldn't be moved without a hoist that she was "on diapers" exclusively. I know it was humiliating to her.

That hasn't happened with my Dad. He's been wearing Depend type underwear for about a year now, plus uses Guards.

Yep, my Dad isn't the best at cleaning himself after using the toilet. I think as one ages it becomes more difficult to reach behind to clean up.

I am just amazed at how Dad can get "stuff" on his suspenders.... [sigh]. Just proves his eyesight isn't very good, and he gets nose blind to odors.

Absolutely not. It may often be true in nursing homes because staff will put off taking them to the toilet when they know they are wearing them, so they eventually can not hold it any longer.
Most of us would not use a diaper voluntarily, try putting one on and see how difficult is is psychologically to give yourself permission to use it. As long as they are given the opportunity they can continue to use the toilet, my mom has no level of self control at all any more, she is not even aware when she is going, but when I place her on the toilet she invariably pees, some part of her brain still knows what to do.
Frankly, I would seriously question the level of knowledge of this caregiver in other areas too.