Will they take her home if my aunt goes into a nursing home because I can't medically do it for her?

I am blessed to say that everyone is very supportive of my caring for her. Her brother is in bad physical condition and only appreciates what I do. I know near the end some may raise their spines but I am her P.O.A. and executor of her will. She did this before she advanced. Her lawyer has paperwork from her doctor and also did his own evaluation with her to prove she was capable of making these decisions at that time. After all you went through I 'm sorry that you were done that way. This is awful, time consuming, and I find that my health is going too. I'm to young for my joints and muscles to hurt and be strained from moving her, showers, picking her up after falls and everything else. My marriage, though strong, feels this stress too. I find at times that I don't like who I am sometimes now. My husband helps me come back to me.

Some long term care policies permit for payment to in home caregivers, including family. Check on that also. I cared for my mom with Alzheimer's or four years. And while mom wanting the house to go to me for that, and vindicative spiteful siblings that were concerned about their inheritance ended that. One of them was Mom's POA. The other narcissistic was able to suck POA in way too easily.

My mom also had a long term care policy. However early in her disease either forgot to make payments or decided to stop paying on her policy due to unwise decisions common in the early stages of dementia. The policy lapsed. So, be very careful about committing too much more of your life to caring for her when money is involved the remainder of the family are crawling out of the woodwork.

Thank you for your comments. This has helped me feel better about things. I am going to check with a lawyer also. She will only be put in a facility if someone makes me. She would need medicaid if she was there long term. She has good insurance which helps ALOT. !

Wills can be changed and often will be with undue influence from other relatives/siblings. This is a gamble to wait. I would consult with an elder law attorney about transfer of the house now if she is competent to do this. Under most circumstances this would be disallowed by Medicaid and subject to penalty. However, if you are providing medically necessary care, in some states, the transfer now would be permitted under Medicaid. Be careful with this as you could be accused of undue influence.

Of course you didn't do this for the material rewards! But as things stand, it would be best to learn how to protect your interest in the house.

I assume that if Aunt needs nursing home care she will also need Medicaid. Is that the case? And, as FF explained, states must try to get their funds back after the recipient dies. But there are exemptions, and one of them is for relatives who have provided care that has kept the recipient out of a care facility for a certain length of time (2 years). Such a relative may inherit.

Check with the state agency that handles Medicaid.

Unless things have changed in the last few months, Tennessee has turned down expanded Medicaid. What FF and I are talking about is pretty standard old stuff, and mandated federally. So I'll cross my fingers for you that you can get what you need for Aunt!

Thank you. I appreciate your comment. I will check into that. I live in Tennessee. I am lucky to have a job that I work 4 am to 12 pm. My husband is there until 8. We have someone who sits with her from 8-1 four days a week. The fifth work day I take off a half day and he stays home till 9. That way we only have to pay for 4 days. Other than that it's all us. I bathe her, dress her, fix meals, laundry, keep up the house, fix and give medications, give her hugs and fight her battles with her best as I can. My husband takes care of the house and yard. We have done this for 3 years now. Like I said, I don't do this for any material reasons. I want her to be taken care of at home as long as I can do it.

When elders set up a Will years prior, they don't realize that anything they put in their Will might not go to the heirs/friends as written whenever Medicaid becomes part of the care. No one thinks that far ahead. And if they did, they might not understand the process.

The taxpayers foot the bill until the patient passes, then Medicaid wants reimbursement in the form of taking the house and/or any other assets. Depending on how long your Aunt is in a nursing home and the value of the house, Medicaid might not need the whole value. Or your Aunt could be there for many years and the value of the house is much less then the final bill, then the taxpayers pay what wasn't collected.

Now, depending on your State, your State Medicaid might be able to let you keep the house if you had given your Aunt a certain number of years of care, thus keeping her out of a nursing home.... but you would need to prove that your Aunt needed around the clock care, meaning you did the work of 3 full-time caregivers per day.

I hope this all works out for you.