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dogowner Asked April 2016

Grandmother (96) had a stroke, was released from hospital, and now yells for help constantly. What can I do?

My Grandmother lives with my parents. She has for years. We are a family who do not believe in nursing homes. We work hard to take care of our family. A week ago my Grandmother had a stroke on the right side of her brain. She was in the hospital for one week. She is 96 years old. The hospital doctor said that she will improve. We noticed, however, that when she was in the hospital she started yelling "Help Me", she kept her eyes closed most of the time, had a hard time swallowing, etc. But the hospital did say that she has not lost her speech. She has "weak" speech. She knows who we are, including my dog! But she does seem like she is a little out of her head. The hospital said they were no longer able to treat her. They thought she might do better once she got home. Once we got her home, the first two days were very rough. She yelled "Help Me" over and over. But then on the third day she really seemed to improve a lot. I mean she could sit up, eat (in small quantity but still she was eating), answer us, etc. So we were very hopeful that she might be improving. Then on the fourth day. That was hard, really hard. All day she has been yelling out "Help Me". My parents and I try everything, from food, blankets, bathroom, sitting, rubbing her legs, anything we can think of but she keeps yelling over and over. We have no idea how to help her. Would hospice be of any help at a time like this? We didn't want to call hospice because the doctors all seem to think she will get better. Not sure who to call or what to do. Is hospice the answer here? Or is it something else?

Teresa61 Feb 2017
My mom had a massive stroke in 2007. Its been 10 years. She is 94 years old. We just put her on Hospice at home. She did do rehab in the beginning of the stroke. We have been told that she has plateaued. So the only time she gets any rehab is if she goes into hospital and then rehab facility. Other than that, we are on our own for therapy. My mom also yells a lot. She is constantly calling for my brother, yelling help me or its killing me! We she gets A1 care from the family and caregivers but I believe she is definitely declining. I also think she does not realize her yelling is out of control. I believe its from the damaged brain. I think we are doing the best for her with Hospice, home care, and family care.

jeannegibbs Apr 2016
I don't see any downside to consulting with Hospice. They will do their own evaluation, and check her medical records. If they decide to take her on and this really isn't her time to die, no harm done. They'll discharge her from the program if she improves a lot.

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pamzimmrrt Apr 2016
I have a friend who's FIL lived with them, and towards the end he was bedbound. He would yell for his son 24 hours a day.. just pretty much his name. Luckily they had kids and a sister who helped with overnight care, but the yelling for the son went on for his last year of life. I think thier brain is just so damaged...

Sunnygirl1 Apr 2016
Hmm....I might try to consult with a doctor who has treated people with dementia, seniors etc. so they will be able to confirm if she is ready for Hospice. I find the fact that she cries HELP ME is interesting. I knew of a lady who did the same thing. (I actually don't think it's that unusual. I have heard of it from other people.) The person that I knew had a neurological condition, but I don't know what. They tried everything with her. They hired a sitter to be with her almost around the clock in her assisted living, but she was inconsolable. Nothing seemed to be physically wrong with her, but she did not survive it. I hope your grandmother gets better. It is very stressful for the family to be around someone like that constantly.

dogowner Apr 2016
Hi Thank you for all the feedback. The hospital didn't mention rehab therapy or anything. They basically just said that she is 96 and there really wasn't anything they could do for her but they thought that once she gets home she would improve, get better over time, etc. I don't even think they ever even mentioned it. They just said that there wasn't anything they could do, they would keep her comfortable, but that the best place would be for her to be home around family. But they kept saying that she would improve over time, get better, etc. But the family never refused anything because I don't think it was ever asked of them. But my parents did call the doctor for advice so we will see what they had to say and go from there.

freqflyer Apr 2016
dogowner, why didn't your Grandmother go into a Rehab facility which would have helped her with her stroke issues? That is usually what happens after someone has a stroke. Or, as cwillie had asked above, did the family refuse to do that?

cwillie Apr 2016
I think you need a clearer understanding of her present condition before you call in hospice. The hospital's focus seems to have been to get her out the door and they did little to prepare or educate you as to her condition or prognosis. Did they wash their hands because the family refused to consider a facility, even for rehab?
Does she not have a primary care physician that can offer you a little guidance?
It seems likely that the stroke has affected her thinking skills as well as causing her physical difficulties. Usually if there is a hope for improvement there would have to be some type of rehab therapy, either in a facility or in the home... someone has let you down badly by not arranging that.
As for the calling out, it could be the result of brain damage and she is not even aware she is doing it, it sounds as though she doesn't know or can't tell you what she needs. There are medications that can help with her anxiety if that is the root of the problem.

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