My dad has good and bad days but at night time he's the worst. What do I say to calm him?

Thank you again all. My dad cannot go anywhere. He stands at walker to pee or commode. He is so so out of it tv music etc doesn't apply. He's never with it long enough to do much. Used to read 12 books a week doesn't do anymore. Isn't interested in tv but I have music on I don't think he's aware. He won't stay in bed so no catheter yet. Is combative now, slaps at us gets angry etc. night is worst time. Have to sit in front of him with hands on his legs to keep him seated. Always asking to leave. Stopped telling him he's already home bc reasoning doesn't work. Dr put him on ceroquil last night lowest dose to help put him out... Did absolutely nothing. Trying again tonight if it doesn't work then maybe Haldol. He needs something to keep him and us safe

Does he sleep in chair at night? or If he is using hospital bed it help his breathing problems. My client whom(93) live at own home has COPD, I did finally convince her family to get order for hospital bed, she was sleeping old beat up bed and I have to elevate head and feet. She have to use her commode so many time at night that's fine with me I'm in her bedroom with my bed.. . when she takes nap I do that same. She is taking Xanax 0.5mg once a day after Dinner.
Sometime too much anti- anxiety meds cause sleeplessness at night sleepy in the day....

Can you plan short term activities during the day to rechannel his focus? What did he enjoy doing? Does he like music? If so, play CDs for him - music is amazingly soothing.

Does he enjoy reading? If so, get him his favorite magazines, then discuss what he's read afterward. If it's lightweight reading, which is good, he might enjoy sharing anecdotes.

What else did he used to do that he can still do?

I have been in your shoes. I don't know if this will help or not...when my dad finally went into hospice, he was continuously trying to get out of the bed. He was pretty doped up at the time. Come to find out, he was trying to get up because he had to urinate. A catheter solved the problem. My thoughts are with you. Please take care of yourself.

He is on lorazepam 4-5x a day to calm the anxiety. He had a brain trama and that leads to added confusion. His O2 levels are good but he has a high level of co2 in his blood bc of his lungs not exchanging properly. I've asked about a sedative but they tell me w his conditions the Lorazapam and at night, with trazadone, is the best they can do. He does take Aleve PM to help at night but bc he sleeps all day he tends to be awake and ornery at night. I truly appreciate your feedback!

Is his oxygen level OK, and could there be any other silent infections or painful conditions medically? Distraction and reassurance go only so far when the person can't remember...familiar smells, tastes, picture albums, almost anything might be calming but you can't necessarily attend to him and provide that 24 x 7. So I tend to agree with medication management - not to make him a zombie, but to reduce distress and agitation.

Dementia often occurs with heart problems and COPD. I imagine that nighttime could be the worst time. It might help if his doctor could prescribe a sedative that could help him sleep without interfering with his breathing too much. I don't know enough to recommend one, but his doctor will know. If it is dementia, you'll not be able to persuade him that he is already home. It may not be the home he is thinking about. You can reassure him that he is safe. It is okay to tell white lies if it helps to calm him. Some people call these therapeutic lies. The one that occurs to me here is to tell him that you'll visit his old home as soon as he is better.