What to do if you suspect a grown child from stealing from her moms accounts.

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GlenCFP Asked April 2016

What to do if you suspect a grown child from stealing from her moms accounts.

The parent suspects that she is but is forgetful, Help. The elderly mom (84) confides in me. One day she does not want her only daughter/child to have any access to her accounts. A few days later we talk. She does not recall our last conversation and says that everything is OK with her and her daughter. When I then remind her that she has asked me for help regarding this matter and site specific incidents, she then remembers, kinda. The worst of it is she has made the daughter a co-trustee of her trust and has given her a POA for anything. The POA was done recently(with the mom not realizing what she was signing) and the co-trustee was done 10 years ago when she was totally cognizant. The daughter has been given full access to all of her Mom's income to pay all of the bills and has opened recently a few more checking accounts and has redirected auto deposits to these for her, the daughters benefit. The daughter does not work so this money is her financial life line. The Mom wants to meet with me but the daughter lives in the adjacent home. I am a CFP and licensed in investments and insurance and manage this lady's savings and income for her and have contacted my compliance department. They are not aware of anything that I can do. I spoke to a person at a life insurance company yesterday who said that these types of cases are occurring more often as the baby boomers and their parents are aging but they do not know how to prevent it. The mom wants to move into assisted living because she is lonely but the daughter tells her she cannot afford it. As her finacial advisor, I know that she can. Where can I go for help? Thank you, Glen E. P.

Elder Abuse

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score 2 · Answer 1

As I see this you only know the daughter opened new accounts and transfered the deposits. What info do you have that she is spending the funds for herself? I think this is the thing many of us are unclear on. If you can prove elder financial abuse.. should you not notify the authorities? Perhaps she is paying bills for her mother from the new accounts? Maybe Mom was sending money to places she may not need to... and daughter is trying to prevent this. I am not being obtuse, just really curious

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score 0 · Answer 2

Thank you for your now understanding of this serious matter. First you need to understand the term managing accounts. I am the licensed insurance agent on her three annuities that pay her an income. I set the income from these on auto deposit into her one checking account. I manage those three accounts. I do not manage or have access to her checking account or her social security income. Both the client and daughter(who has a POA and is co-trustee) have full access or control of the checking account. So how do I know that funds are being misappropriated? Because the daughter has now established two new checking accounts and is having one of the income sources redirected into one of these new accounts for her benefit. How do I know that? Because the insurance company apprises me of any client communications, especially if in a suspicious nature. They subsequently provide me with copies of the actual documentation so I have concrete evidence. Again, as I am learning, this will become a more prevalent problem in the future as we all age. Again, I am looking for a direction to help my client before all of her money is spent. Any recommendations? Thank you.

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score 2 · Answer 3

May I ask how is the client's daughter able to open up new bank accounts if you are managing the client's finances? Just curious how this is done so if others are noticing same what are the red flags for us to watch?

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score 1 · Answer 4

Geez! First I did not realize that this was a public post. I thought it was just Aging Cares way of helping people. I did not expect to get criticized or suspected of malfeasance. The elder women has been my client for 26 years, thus there is no conflict of interest. I would be remiss in not trying to help my client and just watch her daughter spend her moms money. I have documentation of misappropriation of funds. I was only looking for a suggestion of where I could go to next since the person at the investigation division of an insurance company told me that this is becoming more common and they do not know, yet, how to deal with it. And for whoever you are that is suspicious of my involvement, I manage 100% of her retirement savings. All I was trying to do was get some help and direction. Thanks.

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score 2 · Answer 5

I can't help but be suspicious of your involvement, especially since you write that you know the mother can afford to move into AL. If she did, the daughter would not be living with her any more. Hmmm.....

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score 3 · Answer 6

So Mom is not really with it (you mention in the past paperwork was done when she was totally cognizent).. But she wants you to take over her money matters now? She has enough money to move you say? We are always told to take over the finances if we are POA and they can no longer handle this. We are often told to open new accounts to preserve them from giving money away. and making poor decisions.. you even say she cannot remember you conversations from one day to the next... Are you going to manage her accounts for free? Why do you expect her POA to do that ? I would like to believe you are all altruistic.. but perhaps you should re read your thread, with you phone number at the bottom.. How do you know the daughter is useing this money for herself? Your OWN compliance department has told you that there is nothing you can do.. I agree with FF.. Tread softly

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score 2 · Answer 7

It is nice that your friend feels comfortable in confiding with you. Please note if an elder has dementia, they will tell "stories" to get your attention, this is not uncommon. Majority of the time, the stories are made up.

Thus, unless you have 100% solid proof on paper that the daughter is mismanaging her mother's funds, there is nothing you can do. I would hate to accuse someone only to find everything was on the up and up.... you would lose a good client very quickly. But I can understand your concern.

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What to do if you suspect a grown child from stealing from her moms accounts.

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