Mom wanted brother to get everything. Should I give him everything?

You do NOT have to deal with anything before Tuesday or whenever you can get an appointment with the lawyer.

Please, Barbara, relax a bit. This stuff isn't going away. It will be there to deal with when you have some professional help.

The lawyer was away. Will be back maybe Tuesday. This is getting overwelming. I also might have to foreclosure on the lady that bought moms commercial property. Was my dads businness building and small house that was rented out as apartments. And have to deal with unreasonable and unrealistic brother.

Hadnuff, please talk to her lawyer. You are not "stuck" figuring this out alone.

Yes, mom died three weeks ago. She was afraid of him but also protective of him. She was also afraid of him becomming homeless after she died. He won't live with another person. And he expects to be able to stay in the house. So I'm stuck tryig ti figure thus out.

I assume your mother has now passed away?

I advise to get him a higher functioning roomate to motivate his household cleaning needs. You will have to plan for any rental income-perhaps directly into the special needs trust? If that were possible. The special needs trust was too complicated for me to administer.

Saying that your brother is not a nice person does not change what your mother wanted for him - nor does it justify you deciding to vary from what you know she wanted and agreed to do.

Brother is living in moms house under lifetime deed or something like that. I will take money to execute the will and run the trust. But expect it to be very little money. Brother is selfish and was mentally abusive to mom. Even physically put his hands on her a few times. He only started phically helping mom when he had to because she could no longer get clothes on and off herself or cut her piece of chicken at dinner. Befire that he made a mess cooking in kitchen and left pans and dishes for mom to clean up. Even though she was in here late eighties and frail. Messed up livingroom and never helped mom straighten up, etc. He is not a nice, caring person. Part of it is his personality disorder, but still.

I can't imagine your mom expected you to manage your brother's care in perpetuity without any compensation. Generally an administrator is entitled to charge a fee for their services, so you could invest the money and draw from it annually, or monthly if you prefer, whatever amount is deemed a reasonable fee. I would make sure you have a lawyer to help set this all up.

Where is brother living now? How is that working out?

If you have agreed to be the present and future financial caregiver for a disabled brother, understand that Mom could not have planned ahead for every detail.
On SSI, brother is limited as to any additional income or benefits he can receive without losing the SSI income. However, hardly anyone can live on just that income. Hence, the Special Needs Trust.
Take control of Mom's money, use it to benefit brother. However, if you are taking him out for dinner, and you use Mom's money to pay for both (the money she left in your care) would that work? Same with a vacation-he would require paid supervision, correct?

Via Nolo website - Special needs trust funds are commonly used to pay for personal care attendants, vacations, home furnishings, out-of-pocket medical and dental expenses, education, recreation, vehicles, and physical rehabilitation.
It sounds like you may need to save the money should he ever need to move to a personal care home or assisted living.

You know what your mothers wishes were. If it were me, I would feel it my duty to do as my mother wanted as she trusted me to do that as evident of the trustee/executor responsibilities. I feel when you agree to take on those roles you are agreeing to - and trusted to do as the principal wanted regardless of your own feelings and opinions - or you should have not agreed to the responsibilities.

Barbara, first off, you should talk to mom's lawyer. It seems that the lawyer may understand what your mom wanted.

Absent that, Mom set up a special needs trust to provide for brother. Anything she didn't put into that, she left to you, I'm assuming? Along with the piano and the silver? Don't over think this; whatever mom left for you, money wise, pays for your time to admister the trust, is how I'm looking at it.