My mom (85) has dementia and is falling. Any advice or opinions?

This is the really nightmare part of dementia. My mother had a sitter a few hours a day and only a couple of hours in the evening on weekends, and I would DREAD getting a phone call from the sitters when they checked in. The calls would get more frequent, once or twice a week the phone would ring: 'you have to come over here, your mother is on the floor and I am not allowed to pick her up by myself', so drop everything and drive across town. It was a nightmare. One afternoon I did the shopping, as usual, and went to the house. Empty! The sitter's car wasn't there. I put away the groceries and called her, and she said they were at the emergency room. I went up there and talked with that blessed lady, she said she had come over earlier as usual and mom had fallen and cracked open her head on the counter in the bathroom. So I was there with mom from 2 p.m. until 1 a.m. in an emergency room bed, where they changed her diaper twice, put one stitch in her head, and sent us home. A nightmare! A visiting nurse told me the following week the next time mom fell and went to the ER I could tell them she couldn't come home, it was too dangerous for her to live alone, and there was no 24/7 care. So it wasn't too much longer that I was able to get her into a nursing home and on Medicaid, another nightmare! When they start falling down, it's the beginning of the end.

My mom has had at least a dozen falls in recent years even with a cane or a walker or standing 2 feet away from me or a caregiver - and even in a nursing home within 30 min of arriving.

She is now in a memory care facility where she also has fallen - others there who are wheelchair bound fall continuously even if they are wearing alarms

Unless you have a personal attendant 24/7 which is impractical for all but the very wealthy do your best to make her safe comfortable and happy.

I agree. Have your dad call 911 not you. If you aren't sleeping you'll be in danger of falling yourself or getting in a car accident and then they'll be with no support at all.

It sounds like Mom has reached the point where she needs three shifts of caregiving. Many persons with dementia do reach that point. Then the choices are to arrange that in the home or to move the person to a facility where that is standard.

Sorry.

It sounds like your mom doesn't realize what is going on. She may be getting up to use the bathroom, but she also may just be restless. If she's restless and not sleeping through the night, I might discuss it with her doctor and get meds to help her rest more. I like the idea about the alarm for her bed, low bed with pads on floor. She'll have to have around the clock supervision, as she isn't able to reason about using walkers, etc. More falls are likely. Is her house wheelchair accessible? If around the clock care is not feasible, I'd look into a facility as an option.

Jack, any time your Mom falls and has hit her head hard, call 911 and get her to the hospital.... brain bleeds are very serious.

The next time this happens, have Mom transported to the ER, stay a few days in the hospital, then will be given a bed at a rehab center so the center can help her with her balance and try to convince her to use a walker.

My Mom refused to use a walker at home, and at first refused my Dad from using the walker outside of the house.... she didn't want the neighbors to think they were getting old.... HELLO you are in your 90's !! It was all denial, and eventually it did Mom in, the last fall was her final fall.

Is it possible you can move her to a nursing home or some other care facility? Due to your mother's dementia, you cannot reason with her not to get up without help. If you have 24/7 care at her home you could try alarming her bed and chair so someone knows immediately if she does. Also, get a very low bed, and put mats on the floor. With dementia, they need constant monitoring.
My mother's dementia was not as bad as your mom's but she refused to use a walker and eventually fell in AL and had to go to a NH because they would no longer guarantee her safety. In the NH, mom got PT (but it was too late - she couldn't walk after the last fall. Once they start falling it is downhill from there). Due to the dementia, Mom constantly tried to get up anyway. The NH had her bed and wheel chair alarmed and unless she was sound asleep, she was placed in front of the nurses station. Even so she managed to beat them to it and roll herself out of bed and fall anyway. She kept undoing the alarm belt while in the wheel chair too.

You may want to investigate putting her in a low bed like they have in nursing homes. Unless she is very spry she probably won't be able to get up at all, and if she does tumble from the bed she would only be a foot from the floor.

You need more than guidance, you need more in-home help. Are you able to put an 8p-8a shift in there every night? It sounds like your parents can't be alone anymore and need a higher level of care. Is your mom getting up to use the bathroom and that's why she's falling?

Someone who's had 7 falls needs closer supervision and you need more peace of mind.