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Worriedforher Asked May 2016

Aunt by marriage, uncle passed, she was deemed unfit, her family now in charge, my family had taken care of her for several years

My uncle died about 5 years ago, my aunt who had suffered from a stroke previously, but was of sound mind got ill and was taken to hospital after a fall and deemed unable to make her own decisions. My mom (uncle's sister) and father had been taking care of her by bringing her groceries, taking her to doctor, managing the household chores, etc. until the fall and hospitalization. When she was deemed unable, immediately the hospital sought out her sister who has not been involved and she swooped in because my uncle had some money, land, etc. when he died and he always said that her family was about what money they had. Anyway, now the sister has cut my parents out of her life entirely, changed the locks to her house and property the first day, and move her into the sister's daughter in law's home which has several people living in the home. Now, my family has seen in the paper the real estate transactions selling off properties. My mother is the executor of my aunt's will (and my uncle's will which was not probated but he left everything to my aunt), and my aunt in her will named me as her heir, nothing for her family. Now, I am worried that her sister and her family are only after my aunt's money and once it is gone will dump her off at the Nursing home again. What can I do?

vstefans May 2016
It sounds like both sides suspect the other side is only after the money and land. I hope neither side is right! But if you have sound evidence that they are not using her assets for her care, or setting up a trust in order to do so, an eldercare attorney could help you try to prove that Sis is misusing/not living up to the terms of the POA and have her removed as POA and a guardianship established. And if you have reason to believe they are not providing proper care or environment in the other home, you would contact Adult Protective Services.

pamstegma May 2016
Hospitals usually seek out the nearest blood relative. A sister would fit that requirement. Aunt must have given the contact information, preferring a sister over in-laws. Changing the locks is good practice. After all, why would your parents need access? They wouldn't.
Uncle's Will should have been probated. It wasn't.
It sounds like sister is doing a fine job. As for your inheritance, who knows if you were really in the Will? Old people make promises to gain your favor. Deceptive, yes, but obviously motivating for many potential heirs.

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cwillie May 2016
It is wonderful that your parents looked after their sister in law, but I'm sure that they did it because they had a cordial relationship and are good people, not in the hope of monetary gain. The fact is that Aunt's sister is her closest relative and in the absence of a formal poa she has stepped up to look after her. Her choices for your Aunt's care may not be the same as yours would have been, but there is nothing inherently wrong with placing her in a nursing home (she wouldn't be accepted if she didn't need the care provided there) or liquidating her assets so there is money available for her care. She may have wanted to leave a monetary legacy to you, but the reality is that paying for her care may use up any assets she has. If her sister was truly the gold digger you believe her to be then she wouldn't "dump her off at a nursing home", she would leave her at home with inadequate care in order to preserve her money.

Rainmom May 2016
This is probably an oversimplification of what could become a complex situation and it only addresses the will - not the bigger picture. If you have anything in writting regarding your aunts inability to care for herself, from her doctor - it could be helpful down the road. I imagine her relatives will attempt to have a new will made, excluding you. If you need to challenge a new will papers indicating aunt was incompetent at the time the new will was made - it would be helpful. Of course there is always the chance they will attempt to get ahold of her money while she is still living. If I were to address the bigger picture I would say to try to get guardiship of your aunt but you may have a hard time with that as you would have to prove that her sister is not taking proper care of her.

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