Thank you both, this is very helpful and yes very difficult to see our Mom like this who has been the pillar to us all. This came out of the blue and she actually got very angry the other day talking about this,,,,,,,she could not believe her Mother who she loved so dearly and adored would do this to her? Super awful! :(
Redirect your mom every time she asks about her parents. When your mom asks offer her a snack or bring her a treat like ice cream or a piece of chocolate or whatever else she may enjoy. Don't ignore her question, just say something like, "I'm not sure where they are right now mom, but let's have some ice cream and we'll see about finding them after we eat." Or do as gladimhere suggested and tell her that they're at work or on vacation or with friends, whatever is plausible to your mom, then redirect her with something else. Food, a movie, a puzzle, whatever will catch her interest for a little while.
I also agree that reminding your mom that her parents are dead serves no purpose and will only upset your mom. She doesn't live in this world anymore and can't be forced to live here with you. You have to go into her world and be with her there and in her world her parents are alive and she wants them.
Is it comfort she's looking for from her parents? If so heap extra hugs upon your mom. Hold her hand. Be reassuring and supportive.
It must be very difficult for you to see your mom like this. It's good that you reached out for assistance. I hope you continue to do so as you travel on this journey with your mom.
Assisted Living in the Memory Care area where the employees are trained to work with those with dementia and with a higher caregiver ratio. Who is caring for her now? This is a common problem. My mom did it and at first, being unknowledgeable in caring for someone with dementia initially would try to explain that they are gone. WRONG THING TO DO! She became despondent each time, upset that nobody had told her or that I must be lying.
The best way to deal with it is those very helpful therapeutic white lies. I would tell mom that her folks were on vacation and would be back tomorrow, or off to a conference, out of town on business. This worked much better and she was accepting of it. Sometimes I would tell her we will call them in the morning.
The trick is to learn that there is no way to explain or rationalize when dealing with dementia. They are living their own reality. When you travel that road with them instead of trying to get them to your reality caregiving will become easier.
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I also agree that reminding your mom that her parents are dead serves no purpose and will only upset your mom. She doesn't live in this world anymore and can't be forced to live here with you. You have to go into her world and be with her there and in her world her parents are alive and she wants them.
Is it comfort she's looking for from her parents? If so heap extra hugs upon your mom. Hold her hand. Be reassuring and supportive.
It must be very difficult for you to see your mom like this. It's good that you reached out for assistance. I hope you continue to do so as you travel on this journey with your mom.
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The best way to deal with it is those very helpful therapeutic white lies. I would tell mom that her folks were on vacation and would be back tomorrow, or off to a conference, out of town on business. This worked much better and she was accepting of it. Sometimes I would tell her we will call them in the morning.
The trick is to learn that there is no way to explain or rationalize when dealing with dementia. They are living their own reality. When you travel that road with them instead of trying to get them to your reality caregiving will become easier.