Right of survivorship on bank account?

I am also on my mothers accounts as co owner, right of surviorship. Legally that money is mine. Morally,, that would be another question. Ask your parents what they would want.. And I am glad I am an only child! But this is a good question and topic

Nuts - I'm going to approach this from another perspective.....your mom & stepdad - both in thier 80's - & so far all good on managing their daily living & have done planning to have you -as the local, trusted child - take charge if need be. If so, your what-when-they-die worries are putting the cart before the horse.

If something should happen to either of them....a stroke, a fall, an accident, etc and they have any extended hospitalization, rehab, in home care, or 1 of them needs a NH, etc...or something happens to dramatically change their living situation, then their income & nest egg will be depleated. Costs of care can be staggering. NH range from 5k to 15k a month. The 20% Medicare copay can be oodles of $$$. Their secondary coverage may be quite limited if things get complex or go on for months. In home care easily $ 20 hr with a 3x a week 4 hr minimum. Dental is almost always totally private pay and expensive. There could be another decade ++ of health care & living expenses. If they live long enough, they could well outlive their $.

My point is that there just not be all that much left that becomes their estate.

The right of survivorship on the bank account means the money would be yours. Your husband is incorrect in his legal interpretation. What you do with the money is up to you. You can choose to ask your parents if they have any expectations of what they want you to do with any amount that might be left when they die. Or not.
Do they have any insurance or funds speficially for funeral expenses? Who do they expect to pay those expenses? You, from whatever might be left in that account? What if there's not enough? If you want to divide any funds in your name with anyone else that is up to you.

I hate to say it - but I don't think that as executor or POA it is up to us to use our parents assets to punish our siblings if it is in conflict to our parents wishes. You say these two siblings haven't been in touch with your parents in ten years - yet in that same length of time your parents did not change their will. I believe that when you accept a position of responsibility for your parents you are obligated to act in accordance with their wishes or as how they would have acted if they were still in a competent state of mind - but that's just me.

I am def incluned to split the cash in accounts with 2 brothers and stepsister. The other 2 stepbrothers have not spoken or contacted my parents in over 10 years. My stepdad was in the hospital with pancreatic cancer for six months and despite us contacting them, they never called, sent a card or visited their father, NOTHING

They gave you rights to survivorship so you can distribute the funds immediately, without the probate waiting period. That way you can pay for the funeral, burial and headstone right away. What is left you give 20% to the church and do the 6 way split. Other assets like cars and houses can take a long time to sell. You put those through the probate process and wait several months for any bills against the estate to come in, you do the tax returns for them and for the estate. Only after all that is done do you divide the proceeds. I highly recommend hiring the attorney for the probate process.

I am in the same position. Putting me on the accounts was for ease of bill paying and moving money from savings to checking as needed. I know technically I could keep all the cash but feel integrity bound to split the money evenly with my brothers as generally stated in my mothers will. I agree with the reply that if you think your folks mean differently you should and can very easily ask them and confirm their intentions.

It was both parents idea to put me on this account. They worked with a lawyer and bank to do this.

It was your mother's idea to add you to their bank accounts? Why not ask her what she intended for the money after they are gone?

If you are doing caregiving and no other sibling is, then I think you definitely should get the money (well, depending on the amount in the accounts, of course!).