It has been a year and 2 days since my Dad died. My Mother gets high on spending money. If she didn't have more debt than money in the bank, I wouldn't be as concerned. And, I am concerned about her future and running out of money and ending up with no place to live or on some kind of government assistants. She does all this shopping online. I am trying to protect her from herself, more than anything, but also because I don't want her identity stolen, end up being charged for more than she is getting, fraudulent charges, etc., etc., etc. She just doesn't seem to understand her destiny if she can't stop the irrational and frivolous spending. I'm sure a little bit of it is due to trying to exercise her independence, to self medicate through hER grief, but it also seems reckless and playing with fire. I have gotten her out of a lot of autoship legal scams, meaning they get elderly people with the pay only shipping for a 14 day trial, but then start auto debiting her account $400 a month because she order several products under the trial. A family member cleaned her computer and in less than 6 months of being online she had over 2000 possible malware. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Well, I closed all her credit cards and her debit card because she was using online for these autoship companies, and got her down to a prepaid debit card. In the last month she has opened up 2 credit cards online, and opened up another debit card connected to her bank account, and she has spent money through Paypal, which took money directly from her bank account and money online through her prepaid card, and in 2 weeks she spent $2000, and that is not counting the $800 prior. She has been diagnosed with dementia, major depression, and bipolar. And, she is in denial of having these things and she thinks that she doesn't need anyone's help. I think she has forgotten a lot or all of the situations we have been through, along with the money she has lost until I would find out, and was able to get many, many things reversed and cancelled to get her money back, but I haven't gotten all her money back on every online financial mistake. But, there are patterns, and she goes into reserves every month, and it is scary when looking at 5 to 10 years from now. Any suggestions on how you got through to your loved one that they need and must stay on a budget, because they are playing with fire, and not being mindful with spending, and having her identity stolen online, and she's wasting money that she needs now to pay down debt, or that can be used as her health declines to keep her comfortable and to afford to keep her living in nice well equipped surroundings and care. Any advice and help is much appreciated.
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Gee the computer is broken, have to take it out for repair. period.
HSN home shopping TV is safer than the computer- I had to call the internet service and tell them the situation and ask them to NOT call or mail any notifications of renewal-
same with magazines and news papers- she was constantly sending checks!
Have you tried one of those pre-pay credit cards that only have a certain amount of money on them? better than draining your bank account... no, she will never understand :(
Have you spoken to her doctor about this?
You will not get her to " understand". That part of her brain is very broken. You can talk to her doctor about whether seeking guardianship might be advisable.
Things you can do: Move any automatic pension and social security deposits to a new account at a new bank. Or at least take the larger of these and change it to a different bank. If she doesn't have access to that account perhaps she won't be able to open new accounts. Have the family friend install firewalls on her computer. And do routine computer clean ups. Ask the credit reporting agencies to make a note on her file of her dementia diagnosis to prevent new cards from being issued. How advanced is the dementia? Can you intercept the packages and return them? Can your family friend with computer skills block her shopping sites? Can you get her away from the computer? Adult day care? Outings? etc
Can the computer 'break' - the friend might know how to make it shut down somehow. Shut down her credit cards.
Ok, so this is a rambling list but perhaps something will be pertinent. In view of the dementia diagnosis, it is unlikely you can reason with her and get her to stay on a budget. The disease prevents her from having the reasoning skills other may have.