How do I get my elder to move out of a place that is too expensive for him?

You use the term "elder". Is this your father? Or a relative?

Perhaps you and your relatives could be the "it'll work out" solution by suggesting that your "elder" allow you to help him manage the funds and extend the time before he'll run out of money. Take the position that he's helped you during his life, etc., etc., and you want to help him now. Flatter him, get him on your side. Criticizing his frivolous ways, as that seems to be a legitimate assesment, will only push him farther away. So, how can you get him on your side?

Otherwise, he's going to be broke, will need to apply for Medicaid and likely won't get it if he's foolishly wasted his money. He'll be stuck in a no money land waiting for the 5 year Medicaid lookback period to pass because his money has been spent on things other than his own care.

You write that he's "long been irresponsible". If this is a pattern, it's not going to change now, unless the underlying reasons are addressed.

I think also that there's an underlying issue to his unwillingness to address reality, and it could be that spending money makes him feel good, especially after he's lost his wife.

There's an economic term for the high that people get from spending money, but I don't recall what it is. It was one of the first tenents of economics I learned. It's a kind of self induced illusion that by spending money, an individual is better off than he/she really is; it's a type of self delusion.

A behind the scenes activity is to find a more financially suitable place, then discuss with the facility he's in now and make them aware that he will run out of money this year, and at that point will be unable to stay there. They may not care and are willing to accept his money now, but you might be able to find a social worker who sees the handwriting on the wall and will work to find an excuse to encourage him to go elsewhere, where it's more reasonably priced.

While there might not be any incentive to do that, there is always the good will of the facility, and good will is in fact a legal and financial commodity.

telie13, since your Dad is of clear mind he can live "high on the hog" [old saying] if he wants, it's his money. If someone is a big spender there isn't anything to change that, it's part of their personality. They spend like there is no tomorrow.

What to do? Anyway of placing his money into a secure place and just give him an allowance to live on? That way if he runs out of his budgeted allowance before the end of the month and can't buy this or that, maybe that will be a wake-up call for him. And he wouldn't get his next allowance until the 1st of the following month.

I had to take over my Dad's finances mainly because he was just the opposite, he didn't want to spend any money and would throw out bills that needed to be paid.

My mom regularly passes mental status exams. But she can6reason her way out of a paper back. Getting a real neuropsych workup might reveal longstanding or new cognitive decline and/or mental illness. Dementia comes in many flavors.

Did his wife not leave the money encumbered in some way, or in someone else's hands for management?

My (unfortunate) opinion is that people who are not incompetent are allowed to make bad decisions.

The best thing that you can do is to be clear with him that when he does run out of money, and this "magical" something that he things will happen, doesn't happen, that you will not be there to clean up the mess, that you will not have him live with you, nor support his bad decisions.

Angel

No. He has no dementia, he's just long been irresponsible with money, and his reaction when we show him the figures is "something will work out."
He's not being realistic or logical at all, but would pass a mental status exam.

Has he been dxed with dementia or cognitive decline? Does someone have POA? What is his response when you show him the figures?

Has he always been irresponsible with money?

He did inherit when his wife died. It is intended for his continuing care, but he's blowing it at an insane rate.

Oh, and it's not "the estate's money" unless you mean he inherited it from someone else. It only becomes his estate after he dies. He's allowed to spend every last nickel on himself.

Telie, does your elder have dementia? It mskes a difference. If he's competent but foolhardy, he gets to make his own poor choices. Just make sure that he understsnds that he's not coming to livecwith you when he's broke.

Does anyone have Power of Attorney?