and needs your attention but your wife does not let you provide one and get upset. Whatever could be the bad blood between my mom and wife, I think I have to provide attention and love to my mom now, when she is dying. But my wife gets extremely upset and we even do not talk... This kills me. We are married for 33 years and I am also the only son- my mom has no others. I don't know what to do. Need advice, please.
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Thanks so much
Mark
Is she still on hospice? A live-in and hospice visits and you visiting seems a lot to me. Perhaps some anti anxiety meds... for her.... maybe you too :)
My MIL has a live-in caregiver/companion during the week and then stays with my ex and his wife or my SIL and her husband at weekends. She doesn't, truth be told, really need constant attendance; but on the one hand she claims she "can't be alone" and then on the other she gives these poor ladies absolute h*ll. It can be very difficult to find a good personality fit. Where do your mother's companions come from, an agency or have you made private arrangements?
I don't think my brother was very hard to persuade, mind you.
You are in an extremely tough spot. Rocknrobin's advice is excellent. Do what you think is right, while providing your wife with any additional reassurance she seems to need.
Just one thing, though. The care, love and attention you give your mother at this point is all a bonus. It will make her happy, and help to make her last days peaceful, and that is a very good thing. But it is not the same as being responsible for her practical care. Don't make needless sacrifices of time or effort to duplicate tasks that might be better done by her hospice team in any case.