My father is an alcoholic and on narcotics. He's declining and refuses help. Now what?

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MamieM Asked July 2016

My father is an alcoholic and on narcotics. He's declining and refuses help. Now what?

My father is 77 and lives alone. He's been an alcoholic for decades. He's also been on Norco for years and yes combines the two. He was pretty independent for a while. Recently we've had a few hospital trips, he has fallen a few times. If we get him into a rehabilitation facility to gain strength back, he declines the physical therapy and gets released back home. When we sign him up for home nursing care, he cancels it, now I'm worried of possible alcoholic dementia. He's always in a very sedate state, can't remember things or preform simple tasks like checking blood sugar, (diabetic ) trouble with speech and doesn't understand why everyone is concerned. Hospitals can only do so much, they say he's of sound mind because he knows his name, who the president is, and who we are. My Dad adamantly refuses help, refuses to acknowledge his addictions and we're so afraid he's going to hurt himself or someone else since he drives. I don't know what to do.

Family Caregiver

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score 0 · Answer 1

this is probably not the answer you were looking for but try to find the closest Al-Anon meeting and attend at least one.Al-Anon is for friends and families of Alcoholics.

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score 0 · Answer 2

Yes he's clean, one accident but insurance wasn't involved. My brother in law cleans his house twice monthly, my husband and I do his grocery shopping every week. I'm his power of attorney but only when he's incapable. He takes his other meds, but also sleeps allot so he may be missing doses.

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score 0 · Answer 3

Has he had an auto accident ? Gotten tickets? Is he clean? Is his home clean? Wear clean clothes? Does he eat? How is his A1C? Does he take his diabetes meds? Pay his bills? Borrow money? If he pretty much takes care of himself and doesn't get in trouble not much you can do. Ask him what his long term plans are. Try to visit with him early in the morning when he might be sober. Start running errands for him to keep him off the streets. Ask him to give you DPOA so you can take care of things for him if he plans to keep drinking. He might need you to take care of things sooner than he thinks. You probably can't get him to stop drinking but you might be able to reason with him about putting things in order so you can help him out in the future should he survive his current activities and before he loses his capacity to reason due to the alcohol. Don't argue or try to control. Just go have early morning coffee and visit. Enjoy him while you may.

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My father is an alcoholic and on narcotics. He's declining and refuses help. Now what?

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