He was proved wrong, but... I am 3rd of 3 sons. I started in home caring for my parents 10/2010, Mom's mind was very alert, it was her poor little body that finally broke down 02/2014. Dad has had dementia prior to me moving in. Mom called me for help as I lived 45 mins. away. I had been doing all finances, bills, bank, etc. Mom was an ex bank officer and everything was good. April this year, 2016, more than 2 years from Mom's passing. #2 wanted past bills and bank statements. Need to say this, I used their credit card for my personal purchases and would deposit whatever it was and sometimes even put extra in if needed, ALL Documented. #3 is executer and guardian while I'm caregiver and we get along great. Well #2 called for a meeting and accused me of actually stealing $ from Dad. He had a lot of proof, but left out deposits and added different household purchases to make it look bad. My brother, his wife and I proved him wrong. #3 took over the finances for me, which helps, but now #3 wants me to show purchases for home to him to show #2. To me this very tedious. Again, I am the in home caregiver of my 96 year old father w/ dementia. Somehow, I feel #3 has taken accountability/ responsibility to far and wants me to deposit $200. a month to help Dad out while they help $0.00. I'm the 24/7 caregiver and do not take a penny and he wants me to pay to live here while I am caregiver. Makes no sense. I will not quit taking care of our Dad, that I will not happen. He loves his backyard, the sky and glider while he sips his 'Merlot' wine. I do not want to be paid for taking care of my Dad, period, but it makes no sense for me to pay when other in home caregivers get paid $, not pay $ to be caregiver. Oh, I get a whopping $904. monthly from Social Security and am 63 years old. I had to vent, not trying to cry on your shoulders, but I am hurt and confused.
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Mom came home and I am primary care-giver, etc. except for a couple part-time aides to help mom shower, etc. in the morning.
I buy groc, clean, cook, drive, etc. and have very little time of my own, Sis made a big deal coming up for mom's birthday in 2015. I had not seen her in 10 years and her visit made me realize why I almost do not care. She and hubby stayed at a hotel and I had to make sure mom and house were ready for sis and hubby to pick up mom (and me) to go out to dinner (did not really care to go). She did not go out with them for anything other than dinner the whole time here. Maybe just sour grapes, but my money is not growing in the bank and their visit was fun while I worked behind the scenes again on my dime. Not much I can do and know mom has very little of inheritance other than her house - not worth too much these days.
If mom had to go to assisted living, no idea where the $ would come from. I don't want any back pay, just sis to realize the cost mentally and money wise I put into this. It is just not that easy to flash out a credit card to take care of things.
Yup, have to go with Rocknrobin on this one. Let them see if they can get 24/7 care for an elderly gentleman with Alzheimers Disease for -$200 per month.
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Do your siblings have sny vlue what assisted living/ nursing homes cost? If you are caregiving your dad snd that is preserving his monetart resources, you should not be paying to stay there. Unless you are bring paid to do the work you are doing.
When I first moved here my mother thought it was a fine idea if I went to work and took care of them financially. I still laugh when I think of that. Let's see -- You want me to move in and care for you 24/7, be your maid and chauffeur, handle all your finances, cook your meals, shop for you, take care of everything but breathing an watching TV, and then get a job to support you as well. ROFLOL.
I don't get paid. I'm sure there are a lot of people who think I've got it made living here rent free. I don't let their thoughts bother me, because they have no idea. I don't feel I need to justify myself to people who are doing nothing to help.
Your brother's job as guardian means he's supposed to be tracking and reporting the money. Just keep your own money and expenses separate from your father's and let guardian brother handle what he should be.
Twisteds reported me to APS accusing me of financial exploitation. One of them had Mom's POA and KNEW there was no form of exploitation. Siblings that do not provide the care have no idea.
If sibs see the cost of facility living maybe they will start to understand better or maybe they won't. The court ordered POA to pay me two years of back pay at 2k a month. I had been caring for mom for three years at that point. Then in June sibs moved mom to a facility where she now pays 7k a month. Cheaper than at home? Twisteds are idiots.
Your sibs do not want to pay you because of the impact on their inheritance. At least that was my sibs reasons. Now they add to it two years worth of attorneys, a two day court hearing and 7k a month. There are many similar stories here.
( which is much more likely)?
You need to be paid as the caregiver. Period. End of story. Make an appointment with dad's attorney ( on dad's dime) and invite poa and other to come in for a chat. Have your bags packed. You are being used, big time!