Why during this heatwave, when I try to cool Mom (91)'s bedroom with the air-conditioner, she would rather suffer with fan?

Back in the 1970's I had a truck without air conditioning. I lived in Palm Desert, CA which is between Palm Springs and Indio. One day daughter and I were driving down the street remarking what a nice day it is. We passed a bank sponsored thermometer and the temperature was 110 degrees. I guess it is all in what you are used to.
As for Grandma, just because you are hot doesn't mean she is. Why oh why do we insist our comfort level is what everyone's comfort level should be? At work we have one gal who is always cold, and she is 32. So, on days she works we have to have the temp up higher than we do on the days she doesn't work. I wonder about her thyroid.

Mulata88: I just about cracked up laughing when your dear mom said that 108 degrees "wasn't too bad." Oh my! I think I might have had to pass out from the 108 temps!

Oftentimes, I will see a LOT of elderly people who wear long sleeve shirts and sweaters/jackets in the dead of summer! I say to myself "how can they stand it?" Since I hail from New England, you'll still find me wearing shorts into October!

My late mother used to be "hot blooded" and no, I don't mean in sexy way-LOL! So once she developed CHF and A-Fib, she had to be on blood thinners. One year when I arrived at her house, I saw her in a jacket in the middle of summer! I was like, okay, what the blazes?? But I got it...it was the Coumadin.

Its hard to know when they are in danger of heat stroke, or whether it is just right for them because they are more sensitive to the cold.

I used to wear layers when visiting Mom. Sometimes I ended up in just my bra! In the winter she had the thermostat to 90 and still be wearing a long sleeve blouse and blazer - and "very comfortable". In the summer, she would turn the heat on in the morning and forget to turn it off. It was stifling and she loved it.
I'm with Churchmouse - I can't stand the noise of a/c or the draftiness of it. On the other hand, I am a winter person, suffer from the heat, hated living in TX and FL. I have always been extremely sensitive to heat and sweat profusely to the point I am exhausted and have to take a cold shower. We have a lot of fans that run constantly (and that noise drives me nuts after a while). We run the window a/c in one room and I sit in there when I am overheating. In our camper, we run the a/c to cool it down, then turn it off. I simply can't function when it is above 85 degrees. It makes me grumpy too!

The fan blows directly on her and she can feel it,where as the a/c doesn't blow on her.With my Mom,I kept the house cold at 64* but she still wanted the fan right on her,she said to breathe.She was on 4 liters of oxygen 24-7.Everyone that visited said it was so cold in our home but I just wore a jacket all the time and didn't care as long as Mom was comfortable.

@Hugemom, I have to remind myself of that, "pick your battles". Thanks for all of your input here!

Here is another idea: Most elders would rather use the cheap fan rather than the expensive air conditioner. And why? Great Depression era mindsets!

One needs to be cautious that an elderly person doesn't get heat stroke. My mom is always cold and doesn't drink enough water.

My mom is the same way. We've moved and don't have central air anymore, which actually has worked out better since before she would whine about how cold it was in the house all the time. Now I can run the small window unit in her bedroom for awhile before she goes to bed, and she's fine with that. Of course, the coolness doesn't last long, but she does sleep through the night. I always offer at least a fan, but she doesn't even want that. With this 90+ weather day after day, I don't know how she stands it. I can open her bedroom door at night so she gets some air from the other one I have going. I remember her thinking about her own mother, who was the first in the family to have AC years ago; grandma was superstitious about it being on at night (thought you'd catch pneumonia) and wouldn't use it but would turn it on for us when we visited only if the menfolk would complain how hot they were.

I dislike AC as well.
I am concerned about my husband. Although we both came from houses that had no AC in his condition I worry. He complained a few years back, when he was still verbal, that he was always cold. Now when I feel his feet and hands and they do seem pretty cold. The CNA suggested that the way if he is "comfortable" that I should feel his back just below the neck. If that feels "normal" then I should not worry that he is cold or hot.
Personally I keep the house a bit warmer than what many people do. I also dislike fans, I do not like the air blowing on me. A cool breeze from Mother Nature totally welcome but not a fan.
I am one of the people that regret not bringing a sweat shirt to the store or a blanket to the movies. (can't remember the last movie I saw though)

Remember when we were kids and mom made us put on sweaters because she was cold? Here it is in reverse. I love all the responses, but it did make me laugh remembering the "I'm cold so you have to put on a sweater" I heard when I was a kid.

I am very sensitive to constant "white noise" as well. The longer it goes on, the more stressed I get, especially to manufactured noise like an a/c unit. I also need to have a window open. As long as your mom's health is not impacted and she's not opening the window when it's -40 below, pick your battles! It's the easiest way.

Remember, at age 91 she has suffered through the Great Depression when there was NO air conditioning. The "hum" you find okay, to her it may remind her of a noise she doesn't enjoy. Try putting some strips of soft fabric attached to the vents, and let her see the fan blowing. The fabric might remind her of sheets hanging out drying in the sun. Just because you are hot, don't think your loved one thinks so. Have her thyroid tested. This is a typical symptom of hypothyroidism (being colder than the rest of us). Have soft blankets available for her to cover herself as well as a jacket. That's what I do for my husband. (The main reason we are moving to Oceanside, CA to escape this AZ heat!)

Mulata88, unfortunately the ceiling vent is one of those that is 15"x15" with the grates on all four sides. One caregiver said she will bring her hubby in to see what could be done as he's quite handy.

FFlyer,
B4 you buy a deflector, try this:
Screwdriver in hand, (probably a phillips), step ladder/step stool, unscrew vent and rotate, and reinstall.
I did it for mom's bedroom, works perfectly.
It doesn't blow on her.
Blows on the sheers, and I have a table top oscillating quiet fan, not blowing on her either, but circulating cool air conditioning at 79 or 80. When it's 108 outside, 80 feels awesome. The electric bill ( oh, by the way, check out the rates with your electric company). If patient has a medical condition which demands the temperature in the house to be DOCTOR APPROVED BY SIGNING A FORM, you can get a good discount on the bill. I have SCE. it's worth the effort to check this out.
Mom's Sjogrens Syndrome plus scleroderma combined with Rayanaud's disease made us candidates for the special rates.

Anyway............ a ceiling fan?

M88

My Mom seems sensitive to the cold A/C as well. The Memory Care place is usually a little chilly in the main rooms, but each bedroom has their own t-stat. My moms is usually set at 78 and its stuffy! The other day I went in there and the heat was on! Ha ha....its 95 degrees outside and she's got the heat on in her bedroom because they keep the common areas too cold. Most days when I drop by she's wearing her warmest sweatshirts, and she's completely shocked when I tell her it's 95 degrees outside!

my mom is now in nh. at home it seemed as soon as I turned the heat off i turned on the a/c. she doesn't seem to handle the humidity well. I can tolerate the house warmer and cooler than she does or did.
she may end up coming home if the gubmint rejects her.

I would run the AC unit in one of the other bedrooms or in the hall way just to help bring down the humidity. My mom is like all the others, we have central air and I keep it set at 78 or 79 and she is cold, her poor arms and legs feel like ice. When mom lived on her own she had a window unit in the living room and fans to circulate the air to her main floor bedroom and she was happy with that.

Most of the seniors and all of the dementia patients that I know prefer it very warm. They don't seem to feel the heat like we do. Even 85 degrees is not too warm, according to them. So, I would not force air conditioning inside her room. I would think that it would be quite cool for her. I would watch to see that her room didn't get too hot, so that she doesn't suffer from the heat. Can you put a digital thermostat in her room to monitor it?

This temperature thing is so confusing. When my Mom and Dad lived in their house, it felt like a sauna with my Mom wearing winter thermo underwear like she was expecting a blizzard to approach shortly in the middle of July.... my Dad was too warm as he would be wearing only shorts, nothing else.

Mom passed 6 months ago and Dad is now in senior living in an apartment he could have as cool as he wants.... this is what is confusing, he turns off the A/C so the room is now a toasty 80 with the outside temp creeping up to 100. Say what?

I don't know if he is subconsciously setting the apartment warm thinking my Mom is there or what. I know his caregivers try to sneak the A/C on so that they won't roast.

We keep telling him having it so hot isn't good for his health. Yet he will complain it is cold. Now, the ceiling vent, the air does bounce off the wall and down onto his recliner. We thought of moving the furniture around but then he would lose his window that he enjoys looking out from his recliner. Will try one of the plastic deflectors.

Dear Bee,
You are preaching to the choir with ALL of us with this question. Winter: her place needs to be 85, (electric heat so my bill is over $400) a long sleeve shirt, a sweat shirt, and then one or two blankets.
Thank God she has her own "area" in my house. I wear underwear and a tank top when I am in her place. (10 degrees outside) Her answer, "I am comfortable."
Summer: 103 degrees outside. No fan on, no air. Her place MUST be about 90 degrees. I walk into it and sweat is pouring down my back and neck before I reach the chair she is in WITH A BLANKET ON.
I say.............."MOM. I can't stand it in here!"
Her response, "I'm comfortable".

THEN I WILL TOUCH HER SKIN AND IT IS COOL!! Go figure.

Now that I am in her place, pretty much 12 hours a day, we have compromised. (and I run to her walk in tub/shower to cool off!)
Good luck, but let her be! it will NOT hurt/kill her. (On the other hand, if you stay with her in her room, it WILL kill you;)

People in their 80s and 90s probably grew up in houses w/o central heating, let alone A/C. They grew accustomed to it; in some ways they're stronger than we are. Some of the younger people here probably grew up in airconditioned homes and are used to it as everpresent during the summer.

Also, A/C removes moisture from the room, fans blow directly in one area or if they're oscillating move air in a limited arc range. There's more directed air movement from a fan than from central A/C unless you're right in front of a room unit or in front of or underneath a register for a central A/C system.

And remember that older people aren't as active as their sons and daughters. For some, most of their day is spent sitting; they're not up and about cooking, cleaning, and keeping active. They don't need A/C as much as we do.

Another device that does provide some cooling by virtue of its function is an air filter. And it could complement a fan by filtering out from the air minute particles and dust blown around by a fan, helping to keep the air more breathable.

I agree with others who've advised to let her keep her fan, and check her hydration.

I'm 52 and I hate air conditioning with a passion. I hate the noise, I hate the pervasive feeling of chill. I am not a tomato and I do not wish to be refrigerated. Make sure your mother has plenty of cool fresh water to drink and effective window shades.

Even if she has chf (which my mom does) it's hard in a home environment to deny ther wishes. My mom is now in a nursing home where the temperature is well regulated and she simply wears sweaters all year long.

Well you have seen enough responses to know that it is not the noise bothering her but likely the cool air blowing on her that she hates

My 93 year old mom was wearing a winter sweater tonight - it's still 93 degrees out and her room is miserable - of course she also has a cough from napping under the a/c a week ago when no one knew how to turn it off

If I say how hot I am she remarks that she can tolerate the heat better than me like I am a cry baby - she is pure Scandinavian and wasn't made for hot weather either

If you can get a fan that points up to the ceiling to move air out the window without it hitting her that might work - I don't like fans blowing on me either - my be I am a cry baby - haha

Problem if she sweats and gets a heat rash or dehydrated as noted above
Some meds don't allow their bodies to properly cool through sweat either

Unless she has heat rash or CHF or some problem that requires her to be cooler, let her have her way. As uncomfortable as you are when it's too hot, she is just as uncomfortable when she is too cold. Since it's her room she isn't bothering anyone else. Does she keep hydrated? That, I think, would be the larger medical concern.

Yup, 91 yr old mom freezes everywhere below 90.... today, we did hit 108.... she said it wasn't too bad? !.,.,?,.,.?,.,.?,.,.. I was melting.

Whole house ac, her vent faces a wall. No fan, hates the wind hitting her.

I would lock the windows and place a quiet fan in the room, facing a wall to circulate the air,
What about a ceiling fan?

M88

The rooms at the nh where my mom lives all have individual thermstats - my moms is alway set at 81 - and she usually has a polar fleece jacket on over her long sleeve shirt.

My 90 yr old dad is the same way and when I turn on the air he says it is freezing. He even shut all the air conditioner vents in his room.