Brother threatening to take dad out of assisted living and bring him back to his home.

Your brother sounds like a loose cannon, and has no clue as to how much research and work you've done to assure that your parents are in a safe and caring environment, and that thay are at least together and being well managed by diet and medications as monitored by the AL place. Is this about the money and how it might impact his future and potential inheritance? Or out of some misguided guilt, that he thinks your Dad might do better in his home and without your Mother? He has a very distorted view, on just what it takes, to care for a declining Senior, and I doubt very much that he would be able to manage him any better than the care you have put in place for them, at least for any length of time! I'll only bet you've done the brunt of caring for your parents for years already, and this was a move based on nessesity! I'm sorry this is causing you distress, but I agree with other posters, a restraining order of protection, and even a tracking device would be my suggestion! He should not be allowed to take them out of the building! At the very least, I would notify the police of his threats to take vulnerable Seniors out of their home, and if you have the color, make and model of his car, give the police this information too!

FLdaughter09, your brother first needs to compare the cost of your parents living in Assisted Living compared to having full time caregivers at the condo. As you already know, your brother cannot leave them at the condo door and wave good-bye. They both are in Assisted Living for a reason, a real good one.

My Dad had full time caregivers around the clock at his house, and it cost him $20k per month. And that's not taking into consideration the cost of maintaining that house, property taxes, home insurance, utilities, groceries, etc.

Your brother also needs to realize, if today his parents are still somewhat sharp, all that can change next month. That's the nature of the beast when it comes to Alzheimer's/dementia. Your brother has a lot of homework to do.

If you can't sell the condo, rent it out ASAP.

It sounds like your parents are exactly where they need to be. How nice that they can be together, though it is sad that they both need that kind of care.

Is it possible that once your brother sees your father for a while he will come to understand that there is indeed something wrong with him? Would it be best to allow him to visit, but just to ensure he can't leave the premises with them?

If your brother's motive is greed and a desire to preserve the estate then perhaps even a dose of reality won't discourage him.

I wonder if you could get a temporary restraining order against your brother on your father's behalf? I have no idea if that would help, but it might be worth asking someone in the police department. Good luck, it sounds like your brother is really problematic.

I'd also consider a personal tracking device, so that if your mom or dad was taken, you'd be able to track where your brother has taken them.

So brother's plan is to take them back to their condo and just drop them off? Or is he planning to move in with them to take care of them? Or move them out-of-state to his home?

can you sell the condo and take that option off the table?

Thanks for the advice! Yes I did sign the papers for admission. The condo is vacant at the moment. AL is being paid for out of my parents money...brother isn't contributing. But yes it is decreasing the value of the estate which I believe is the issue. He actually lives out of state which is good but we think he is planning a trip in the near future to take both of mom and dad. The facility has been notified and I will supply a picture of him. Thank you for your help!

Did you sign the admission papers for your father in your capacity as proxy for him? What's the situation with the condo? Is it rented out, vacant, up for sale?

Have you spoken with the administration to warn them and ask if there's a way your brother could be barred from removing your father?

Not to be nosy, but who's paying for AL now? If brother is contributing, which I rather doubt, he might not want to continue doing so. If payment is decreasing the value of the estate, that might also be a factor.

Where does your brother live? In the area?

I think you might want to speak with both the AL management as well as the local police, and perhaps even APS to act proactively and prevent him from removing your parents. The police might recommend applying for ex parte injunctive relief to prevent him from even visiting your parents.

If by some chance he did take your father (but not your mother??) home, call APS and make it clear he's a vulernable adult, needs supervision, and can't live alone and was taken from the facility against his will.