Anxiety, fear, and panic in caregivers.

I hated and paniced at any call after 9pm!!

thanks Scaretaker, reading the pdf now... started out a tad not for me, but now it is addressing things I am now feeling that I have actually lost someone I was close to.

My mom's facility only calls if there's a problem

I hold my breath waiting to exhale until I hear from her sitter in the afternoon and again at bedtime

Hi friends. Thank you for sharing your experiential knowledge with me. I appreciate the insight.

FTR, I attend ACOA and counseling. Having a front row seat to aging is so hard. I am in a panic state of living in denial as a result of having my nose rubbed in it as a caretaker.

My therapist recommended a PDF book Called Staring into the Sun which talks about fear and anxiety of death - which is where I am at. It drives everything in my life.

That's me right now

the brand name for escitalipram is Lexapro. it is an antidepressant with antianxiety properties to it.
I too was brought up with zero knowledge of boundaries but i guess all children of abusive parents are.

Scaredtaker, that must be tough to deal with two people who do not respect your boundaries. I suppose the alcoholism, unless she is in recovery, makes it exceptionally difficult. I might check out Al-A-non and maybe even counseling. They might offer some tools to help you cope.

I'm joining my parents when my mother returns for her follow up visit to her doctor later this week. She was hospitalized Sunday and just released. Long story, but won't go into it here. If she's not going to accept recommended treatment, I'm going to seek a counselor to help me with my responses to my parents. AND I'm moving out and advising them to make other arrangements for someone to help them. That's my boundary. Either follow doctor's advice or handle it on your own. I won't be a witness to self destructive behavior. I'm telling them that I won't be their POA either. I'm not volunteering to stay on a train of misery.

Escitalopram? Does it have another name? Thanks! I'm very prone to panic attacks, depression and anxiety. I see psychiatrist and therapist. I take meds already. Mom 91, very sweet but CLINGY TO AN EXCESS. That's my life in a nutshell.
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I had the occasional panic attack before my folks moved in,, but boy did it get worse. A bit of ativan helped.. and so did time. But I still get stressed about mom and her not eating, and worrying about her

Definitely. I was a wreck. I'd get horribly angry and cry uncontrollably. If i had 3 things to do i couldn't figure our where to even start sometimes. I felt trapped. I just wanted to sleep for days if i could. Went to my doctor and thankfully was prescribed escitalopram. What a difference!

Thank you all for these replies. This is so tough. Boundaries - my parents never had any use for them. Part of the narcissistic dad and alcoholic mum. I still love them. I do the right things. It's just hard. They can be who they choose. I have always calibrated my own behavior as I plan to stay true to being a good person. No matter what the story may be. It's hard to be the only one in recovery. But also, there is no other way IMO

Please seek help for it. It can really bring you down.

What I am experiencing is anxiety, fear and panic in my mom. She's mid seventies and it's very problematic to her, causing physical problems, debilitating, and causing me, stress. I may have to get therapy myself, even though, she's the one who needs it. lol

Seriously, I'm going to ensure that she gets treated for it. My family is backing me up, thank goodness. I've learned to not allow her to push my buttons. It is an illness, but you have to set boundaries and not let others run you to the ground. I think setting boundaries helps, if the senior is able to process things. If they are incompetent, that's different. We still have to keep that in mind and work around it, take breaks, get help, not over obligate, etc.

yes, I developed it caring for my parents, all of that. my dr put me on escitalipram. I am still suffering from it even though mom is in a home and my dad passed last month.... every time i even think i hear my phone my heart races, and i still find it hard to be away from home.

Try some relief, either an Rx from the MD or some over the counter meds like Remifemin or Estroven or similar. Chamomile tea helps.

Oh yes! If you don't have some panic sometimes I think you must not be seeing the full picture!

If these feelings are more than fleeting episodes and/or if they are interfering with you functioning normally, please please get some medical help.

Many women experience some hormonal depression just from menopause alone. Add caregiving on top of that ... well, you deserve some help, lady!