How do I convince husband to try day care?

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bettylu2 Asked August 2016

How do I convince husband to try day care?

Husband is a social person, but he wants me in his line of sight constantly. He has ALZ and it is getting worse. We just moved to be closer to our Son and our 5 Grand-daughters so he hasn't met or remember he's met anyone he could talk with. I can not even get to the bathroom with out him hunting me down. That little room has become my sanctuary sometimes. There is no sense in talking with him about going to a day care so should I just ride over to a daycare and take him in to look around? I wish they would call these places Senior Care as it might make my husband feel less like a child who needs to be dropped off. He has recently been asking me to promise not to put him in a Nursing Home. I can only reply that I will take care of him the best that I can. The little voices in my head then carry on with the REST of the story. They say that I would take care of him the best I can and if that means putting him in a NH to give him the care that I can not, so be it. I just need some time to myself if only for a couple of mornings a week. I just don't know how to accomplish this and maybe afraid of the confrontation that may take place upon my trying. I have bad sciatica that I am coping with and everything is getting more and more difficult to deal with, especially the stress. I hate the thought of threatening him with "it's either daycare or a nursing home, your choice". I will if I knew it would get the job done. Any suggestions?

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score 1 · Answer 1

Convincing is not very likely. I agree with those above who suggest just going. It's not really a question, just get in the car and go there for a couple of hours at first. First staying and then leaving him longer and longer.

I would discuss questions with the center to see what they can accommodate. I'd confirm that they are able to supervise someone with his level and how they would handle it if he just got up and tried to walk out, if you were not there.

Also, since you are thinking that down the road you may not be able to continue with his care, I might explore places like Assisted Living, Memory Care AL, etc., that might have adult day care services on their premises. If he did need further services down the road, you and he would already be familiar with them.

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score 2 · Answer 2

One time I read where if you talk to the director of the senior care center and ask if there is some type of "volunteer" work your hubby could do while there. If yes, wonder if hubby would be more apt to go if you tell him the center needs volunteers to help with this or that?

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score 2 · Answer 3

Betty, in my neck of the woods, they do call it senior care! : - )) AND you can too. Sign him up and go with him. Let the place know your plans. Spend the entire first visit with him and excuse your self while you go to the rest room; speak with the staff or whatever. Those suffering from cognitive impairment say NO to anything they can't absorb.They don't really comprehend what they are saying no To! I'd bet you will have an easier time of bringing him to the 'activity center' once he has seen it on his own. 2nd visit? After he is settled, tell him I am just going down the street to pick up stamps, groceries, cleaning or whatever. He will eventuall get used to you not being there. Good luck and keep us posted.

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How do I convince husband to try day care?

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