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M
Memeogle Asked August 2016

Is an elderly parent better in an assisted living where there is crafts music and companionship?

I have had my mom in my home for 1 year. I am doing a disservice keeping her here in Florida when her friends and her home was in maryland

freqflyer Aug 2016
In my opinion I think it is always better for one's parent to stay in the city/town that they have lived for many many years. That way when they read the newspaper or watch the daily news, they can relate to the locations. And there is always a chance that one of your Mom's older friends could be living in that Assisted Living complex.

On the back side, if there is an emergency and Mom is living in Maryland and you are in Florida, it could make it difficult to rush to her.

As for the crafts, music, and companionship, it depends on the parent's personality. I thought my Dad would enjoy the social hour and go to bingo, but he's more of home body and prefers to stay in his room to read or watch TV. I have a part-time caregiver with Dad at the senior living who will get Dad to walk around the complex.

Sunnygirl1 Aug 2016
I'm not sure that I understand what you mean by better in assisted living. Is your mom now in your home and you are wondering about placing her in Assisted Living in Florida? And her friends and home are in Maryland? Assisted Living can offer many activities that seniors do enjoy. It adds quality to their life, even if they have dementia. Keeping as active as possible, seems to help their mood and health in general.

I think the degree of her dementia would help me answer that question about moving her to another state. While her friends may be in Maryland, who would be responsible for her there? If you are the Durable Power of Attorney and Healthcare POA, who is looking after her, then I wouldn't see how it would make sense to move her to another state. Especially, when her dementia progresses, she may no no longer remember those friends or her home in Maryland. Can't she have friends, activities and companionship in Florida?

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cwillie Aug 2016
It really depends on your unique situation. Is your mom is bored and lonely, does she long for companionship with people of her own generation, does she feels like a guest in your home rather than one of the family, are there are conflicts within the household because she is there?
What's done is done, there is no sense looking backward. Sometimes there are no perfect solutions and you just have to look for ways to make the best of what you have. She can phone or skype her old friends. She could go to the local seniors centre of to adult day care to socialize. It could also be that she has reached a point where nothing will really make her happy, there are medications that can help with depression and apathy.

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