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Philomena Asked August 2016

How can I get my mother to bathe?

Sunnygirl1 Aug 2016
That's a good point. What I did with my cousin, is just say how it's the way you do things when going to the doctor, as I ran the water and got the soap lathered on the washcloth. I didn't insist she shower all the time, just washing from the sink was okay for most of the time. I would hand her the clothe and chat about the nice neighbors, her cat's meow or the lovely blouse she was going to wear that day. I wouldn't dawdle around, but get it done and her dressed with an upbeat attitude. I wouldn't be critical of her at all, but just positive about how nice she smells.

Keep in mind that relying on her to remember and keep up the bathing isn't very feasible. At that point, it normally requires guidance and gentle insistence.

GivingItMyAll Aug 2016
Philomena, that is one of the most asked questions on this site - right below how can I get paid? I wish there was a magic wand or something that would make it easy. The best thing is like Sunny said, make the bathroom comfortable and safe. That may mean a space heater, bars on the wall, a hand held shower head, a non slip mat, a shower bench. Some people who can still respond to smells may enjoy scented bath gels. If they respond to music, I'd play some soft music. You might have to cover the mirror if they don't react well to seeing themselves naked. Actually, that brings up another thought. Some will wear a bath cape or wrap into the shower and only uncover what is being washed. Be sure to have plenty of whatever you need handy so that you don't have to leave the bathroom during the process, or at least the area if you are not having to actively do the bathing. With us, it was a gradual process. I began my active participation by helping with the shampoo. After that it just gradually became me doing the entire thing. It is true that a bath aide can sometimes be worth their weight in gold.

As far as the question asked goes, how do you get your mother to bathe? Well, you may have to try something different each time. Remember that they do not have to bathe head to toe every day. Their skin is dry and they are not doing work to cause them to be sweaty. It got to the point where I would follow Mom into the bathroom when she got up. While she was on the toilet, I was getting out the towels and warming up the bathroom. While she was saying I don't want to take a shower, I was saying it's time to take a shower, let's get it over with quickly and then we'll go out to lunch. She enjoyed going out. Whatever works for you. Good Luck!

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Sunnygirl1 Aug 2016
Here's a link from this site. It's a common problem with people who have dementia and there aren't any magical answers. I think that most family members try to work towards making it more comfortable for the dementia patient, helping them do it and perhaps hiring a bath aid. The thing with dementia that is so frustrating is that once that has impaired their reasoning and initiative, it's not likely they have the ability to then take your advice and resume bathing as they used to do. It's more a thing of the family member guiding them along and or retaining an aid to do it.

https://www.agingcare.com/Bathing-Hygiene

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