How long does it take a person with Alzheimer's to get used to a memory care facility?

pammypoo53: Do NOT feel guilty or beat yourself up over this change in what is best for your husband. Think about it for a minute...is he going to get better? Sadly, he is not and this is the best place for him. I know it's easier said than done. (((Hugs))) going out to you.

08/23/16..... My Dad has sundowning, so sometimes he will call me at home from his Assisted Living asking to be driven home. Then I ask him to look around his room, does he see his furniture and he says "yes". That will satisfy him for awhile.

How this was recently explained to me, and made sense in my husband's case, was that 'Home' is not a place. What a dementia patient is really seeking is a place of comfort. What they are expressing is dis-ease, or lack of a feeling of well-being. I was advised to allow my husband to be given Zoloft, starting at the minimum dose, which block the serotonin from draining from the brain. This, so I was told, would add to his sense of well-being and feeling of comfort.

It could take anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months. That's what the staff at my mom's NH told me. It took my mom about a month. Now, I'm going to answer a question you didn't ask, because I've been where you are.

When I read that your husband "asks to go home," I felt happy for his high level of functioning. When my mother entered a NH in November of 2014, she was speaking too. I took it for granted. She has now become non-verbal (mainly gibberish) and I can't tell what her preferences are or what she's trying to say. I would love to go back to the days when she asked to go home. My unsolicited advice is this: enjoy your husband. Revel in the fact that he is safe, cared for, and can communicate with you. While the weather is nice, take him out for the day. Hold hands, reminisce, listen to your favorite music together. Anything to enjoy the moment because with dementia, things may change at some point and you would have forfeited the wonderful times you could be having together right now.

I live with my mom in the house we have lived in for over 30 years. Some days she tells me its getting late you better take me home. I just tell her you are home, this is your house. She looks around and that is the end of the conversation. Other days she says "I better call my mama because she weill worry that I"m not home yet". I have just learned to laugh and say ok we will call her later. She doesn't bring it up again.

Some people never seem to adjust, however, some do.

When my cousin first went into Assisted Living, she asked about going home all the time. It was a constant thing, but, after she went into Memory Care, it stopped. She seemed to be so much more relaxed there and happy. That might be due to her medication though.

She now tells me periodically that she has decided to stay in her apt. That's what she calls it. She says it's so nice and she likes it. I tell her that I think that is a good decision. So, she believes she chose to live there and it's her decision. I support her in that.

I might suggest that you speak with the Resident Care Coordinator at his facility and see if they can provide him with some type of "job." Not a real job, but something that he can do to help.

My cousin goes into one of the offices that is on her wing of Memory Care, when the staff are in. She rolls her wheelchair around and chats with them and they sometimes give her something to fold or sort. (Depending on the day, she sometimes isn't able to use her hands well, but other days she can.) They chat with her as if she's a co-worker and she thinks she works there too. It makes her feel needed and that is a good thing.

Sometimes, I'll ask her if she's still working and she may say yes or she may say no, that she doesn't feel like it anymore.

my mom asked to go home when she was home- 'home' is a state of mind we all want really.... It took her a few months to adjust and now takes comfort in the regular schedule and surroundings. I think it is mostly because I dont visit as much which reminded her that she "should" be remembering something else but doesnt. I told them to tell her she 'was' home, and they do- and point out all her things in her room- and she takes comfort in that.
No guilt, it takes time for you Both to adjust.

My mom has been in care for 5 years and is still asking to go home, wherever that is in her mind. She does not recognize pictures of where she lived the last 40 years before moving to care.

"I want to go home" could mean many things. Sometimes they are thinking about their childhood home. Sometimes it means that they want to go to a time when they were healthy and of sound mind. We have been on the same home for eight years. My wife states that she wants to go home frequently. Sometimes I answer "yes, so do I". Other times, I answer "we'll talk about it later". Whatever you say, make it a habit to change the subject and discuss something else. If you can't think of nothing else to say, give a weather report, about the beautiful day it is, with no severe storms expected.

DO NOT take him back home! He may or may not recognize it but will definitely increase his level of confusion. My mom has been in memory care about 15 months, she still wants to go home, she will never adjust to being there. Just the way it is with many suffering with dementia. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about. Give yourself a break. You found him the care he needs and the best part of that is that you recognized you would not be able to do it. That is very hard for most.

Please see if this article will help you understand; I wish I got this explanation when my mom was ailing last year. google oca

Some people make the transition very easily and some struggle with it, at least at times, for many months. Divert and distract in the conversation can help. Referring to their new location as "where you live" can help over time. Putting up a lot of pictures of family and friends and maybe having their favorite bedspread or end table in the room can help "prove" that is their room/home. Sometimes they ask to "go home" and that means "where I grew up". At times when this happens with my MIL I say something like "that might be nice some day" or "you enjoyed growing up there, didn't you?" or "maybe someday but it is really cold/hot there right now". Fighting with them is almost always a losing battle. Some people bang on the door or cry to "go home" periodically for months but most that I have seen appear to make a fairly good transition within 1-4 weeks. When we transitioned into a memory care facility it was suggested that we not visit for the first week or so in order to help our relative make the transition.

Most patients ask to go home. Often they are taken back to the house and do not recognize it. Assure him he is in a good safe place and then change the subject. Ask about things that happened a long time ago, those memories seem to be retained.