What is the best thing to do with nursing home and Medicaid?

Your understanding about your Mom's income is correct. When Medicaid starts paying for her nursing home care, her patient paid amount will be all of her income, except for the small amount allowed for personal needs in your state.

But if there is equity value left in her house that is now on the market, you can set aide the funds that come from the house closing for your Moms supplemental needs, in a Pooled Trust Account. The time to talk with an Elder Law Attorney is now, so that the Medicaid application and the house closing can be coordinated. The Attorney should be aware of charities that provide Pooled Trust services in your state.

Saving the money from the real estate closing in the Pooled Trust account is especially important for your Mom. You may be able to use the funds for a geriatric care manager and care providers who can assist the nursing home in alleviating the behaviors that are prompting the need for the medications you mentioned.

Sorry to worry you as my question was mainly directed to Medicaid. In my opinion she needs the drugs to help calm her down and I am not complaining about that. Sorry about my choice of words!

I'm only going to address the last bit. You say that your mom is "drugged" because she is irate and yells a lot. Is your mother agitated? Do you know about what? Is it something that can be fixed (her sweater has fallen down, she's too cold, is hungry? Or is her agitation about something that isn't real.

Recently, my mother became quite agitated because she thought she had been told that she had leprosy, and she was afraid she was going to pass it on to my niece's unborn baby. Other times, she becomes agitated because she says she didn't pay income taxes in 1939 and she's going to Hell.

In my mind, giving a patient antianxiety or antipsychotics when they are very upset over something that is illusory is a kindness; I don't think of it as mom being "drugged"; she's being medicated for what ails her.

If your mom is medicated to the point of being non-responsive, then you need to talk to her physician about that. But just the fact that she's being given psychiatric meds (antidepressants, antianxiety meds or even antipsychotics in certain situations) does not mean she's being "drugged".

With regards to to Medicaid, you might want to consult a certified eldercare attorney who knows Medicaid regs in mom's state.

The only person who will " know mom's business" is the business office. Staff doesn't know who is private pay/Medicaid in a well run facility.

You're right, Most if not all money will go to help pay for care. Bills for the home, say lights, electric, etc will be paid by you or someone else, or they will be shut off. Mom only gets a small amount of her income for personal use. Try to go to the Medicaid appointment, if not, your mom will need to sign over this to the Medicaid person at the facility who will represent her at the meeting.

One more thing, yes they'll know your mom's business, business office that is. They'll go through bank statements to see any insurance payments deducted from her account as one example, as well as any investments, IRAs, etc.

Thank you ever so much for all the comments and for the advice from Mr. Roberts! I will pursue the Pooled Trust and check into a geriatric care manager. This nursing facility does not like orders from resident family and the Dr. for the facility is rarely there and one cannot get an appointment with him. Why is everything so difficult now days? Thanks again!