Where to find and hire a live-in helper?

One of the agencies, which has a great reputation, said the way they do it is to have one aide there for 4 days and another for 3 days. They said this seems to work best, but it seems exhausting to me.

Longtime family friend has live in help consisting of three women who rotate days 3-2-2. Daughter does grocery shopping and errands
It can be done but both your parents have to be accepting of strangers coming into the home -

Agencies will work with your schedule. Most people like 2 12-hour shifts. This is pretty standard. Having 3 people work 8-hour shifts can get busy and confusing but it's doable. These are shifts, not live-in. Although there are people who do live-in work, you just have to find them. And screen them. But you'd need more than 1 person as another poster mentioned. One person can't work 7 days a week around the clock.

And as was previously mentioned, in-home help is very expensive. But I have to disagree about the poop factor. A professional deals with poop all the time. Nurses deal with poop all the time. Dr.'s deal with poop all the time. Poop is not a deal-breaker in the healthcare profession.

Connecticut now has a Domestic Worker's Bill of Rights. That means overtime after forty hours, vacation time and minimum wages ($9.60/hr) plus nightly sleep time coverage by another person. So the day person will work 16 hours and be paid $1420 a week plus the night shift gets $537 a week AND you have to set up payroll and carry workmen's comp insurance. You are looking at $8000 a month at least. A lot more if you use an agency. A cook or housekeeper, fine. But nobody wants to deal with adult poop. That's why Nursing Homes get huge money. The poop factor.

My mother lives with my father. She can provide help during the "off-shift". My father has some memory issues and serious mobility problems.

For my Dad who had needed 24 hour care, I used an Agency where they would send out 3 caregivers per day, each doing an 8 hour shift. The night shift, the caregiver was required to stay awake during the whole shift. But be prepared, this can be expensive.

With an Agency, the Agency is usually licensed, insured, bonded, and have workman's comp for their employees. Plus have updated TB testing, etc. And if one of the caregivers cannot make his/her shift, the Agency is real good on finding a replacement. I have been using Home Instead for almost a year now and have been extremely pleased. There are other really good Agencies out there.

Just curious why would your Dad need a caregiver just for incontinence? Or are there other medical issues such as mobility or memory issues which complicate the incontinence?

Even though a live-in caregiver would be nice, there is no way one person can work 3 full time shifts per day. Everyone needs to have a good night sleep without any interruptions.