What's next when mom says she will "give up" if she ever had to go into a nursing home?

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Iliterallycant Asked August 2016

What's next when mom says she will "give up" if she ever had to go into a nursing home?

90 year old mom lives on her own. Drinks ensures and eats sometimes. Drives and goes to church and runs errands. I live very close and don't work and see her everyday to check on her and house. Phone calls in between. Sharp mind. Has friends. Weighs 113 pounds 5'5 getting frail.

Yesterday, couldn't walk. Even with cane. Pain in legs. Weak. Heavy breathing. Pale. Took her to her PP and he immediately did a breathing treatment and then chest X-ray . Pneumonia 1 lung . Now she's in hospital . Low blood pressure. Low blood count. Transfusion. Want to send her to a nursing home because she's so weak to get her PT after blood count goes up. She is extremely opposed and has said before if she ever had to go to one of those places she would "give up"

Omg. What can I expect logically?

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score 0 · Answer 1

Pneumonia strains the heart, which, at 90 is not running at 100%. She can refuse rehab and decide on Hospice instead. Be sure the MD goes over Advanced Directives with her. Take one day at a time. If blood counts don't rebound, she won't be able to do PT. As hard as it is, she has the right to choose no more poking and prodding. Respect her decision, tearfully, yes and wish her a good voyage.

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score 0 · Answer 2

Iliterallycant, the reason your Mom is refusing to go into rehab/nursing home is that she thinks it is like a nursing home from the early 1900's.... and being that your Mom is 90 years old, nursing home back when her parents and other relatives went it, it wasn't the most pleasant of places.

Your Mom doesn't realize that today's nursing homes are so very much different. Much nicer facilities.

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score 0 · Answer 3

I mean what to expect as far as changes after recovery or if recovery

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score 0 · Answer 4

I answered on your other post,, this one does answer some questions! Tell her it's rehab,, not a NH!! People go to rehab all the time and come home. My mon and FIL did well, and MIL is in one now for a broken hip.. doing fine! remind her is is short term until she is stronger..

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What's next when mom says she will "give up" if she ever had to go into a nursing home?

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