My mother with colon cancer advanced stage.

Oh how I agree with Jinx 4740, antidepressants every time, especially for aggressive grumpy but terrified old pa's!!! 🌞

thanks again: I have r to go to another state and see the nursing home there.. then I get back and see what is happening with my mom... She actually wants to do 'something'.. There never was any chemo- the doctors said it would have killed her earlier, she refused the chemo anyway. The metastatic cancer was discovered during the surgery and there is a pathology report which identifies liver and other organs affected.. She does not eat much at all.

She sounds in pretty good shape for stage 4 cancer, so she might live another 18 months if she eats and drinks. The surgery will fix the colon cancer problem, but the other problem is where the cancer went. She could quallify for a trail with ClinicalTrials.gov. But a trail lose her hospise because they are not interested in life extension. If she has no pain then loss of hospise is not a bad thing. Sounds like the doctor has given up. You might want a second opinion. The leg swelling may be due to her not being able to put her legs up. Petechiae - pinpoint bruising can be caused by vitamin‎ deficienty. There is a type of bruising (widespread red bruse patterns under the skin) that is taken for a sure sign the end is near. But my mother had that while in the hospital for pneumonia after they tried to have her sit in a chair. But it disappears when she was lying down and she lived and walked another 4 years. What are her wishes? Good luck.

I cared for my father during his death from colon cancer. Your mother is probably past this, but I had two things I would do differently.

Give him an antidepressant and lie about it. He was stubborn and suffered unnecessarily.

Make SURE she is getting enough pain medication. My father had low-level pain, not screaming pain, but I would definitely drug him more.

MarkLLL: Absolutely do not move her! My late aunt, an RN, had colon cancer for about 5 years and deceased at age 76. My late uncle had colon cancer and lasted only 2 months-age about 87. He refused to get a colonoscopy and so did my aunt, who was a medical professional. Deadly MISTAKES!

Great answers, thanks!

My husband lives in another state alone, with a son who works but helps out. He's had several rounds of chemo and recent surgery to remove what's left of the cancer. But this summer while in the hospital after a bad chemo experience he had a heart attack. The recent surgery included putting a stent in one of his coronary arteries. He called me a week ago to tell me he's back in the hospital for an infection from the stent and pneumonia. He's 85. Several months ago his other son moved back to Colorado and planned to move his father there to be cared for by him and his wife. It got postponed to November. It doesn't look like he'll be able to move, which is too bad.

My suggestion: ask the doctors if your mother is able to move. But it sounds like you've already made plans for her to stay where she is. If you can do that, go ahead. I think moving at this point would hasten her death.

As Arianne suggested, look into HOSPICE Specific places both near her home, and near your new home. If your new place is only a short (less than 3-4 hour) drive away it's doable, otherwise, I'd keep her close to home. We had my Mom at home on Hospice, and the last 8 days in a Hospice Hospital, where that is All they did, and it worked out best for all of us. Ask your Hospice team, if they have a facility that they work with. I'm so sorry this is happening to her and your family. I hate Cancer!

I want to congratulate all who offered advice. Colon cancer requires monitoring to assure the patient is not in pain. On this Labor Day-we thank all caregivers for THEIR LABOR OF LOVE.

Packing at home is always the best. I brought my husband home. If you can, it would be so much better for her. If not, someone should be with her at all times in the hospital. The last hours can be beautiful depending on the faith of the person. My husband died shouting, He is Beautiful....

My mother died from Colon Cancer. She had the surgery 5 years earlier. When the colon started to break down again, she refused any cancer therapy. She lived about three weeks. Hospice was in the hospitals at that time. It really worked well. My mom did not have to have her colon removed. Only a portion, but she did have 5 more years.

I agree with Arianne and Ferris that unless your hospice nurse and social worker think she has several weeks, it would be very difficult to move her now. Death is difficult to pinpoint but if your doctor felt that no further treatment would be beneficial and she is not eating/drinking, then she is probably fairly advanced in the final stage of life. I do understand why you want and probably need to get home so I would work closely with your physician and care team to see how reasonable that is at this stage. Since I am not there and do not have all the facts of your individual situation, my comments are only a guide to consider along with those who are close to the situation.

Hugs and Warmth go out to you and your mother. My dad was diagnosed with Colon Cancer 5 years ago...18months had he had a Seigmoidectomy under emergency surgery, he was offered a colostomy 5 years ago but refused to have the procedure done... The cancer had spread to lymph and liver. His appetite was minuscule but I made sure he had small amounts of home made chicken soup.. I nursed him for 6 months and as he became mobile and aggressive I moved out... My dad is still here and yesterday bought a new car!

Your hospice nurse and/or social worker should be able to give you some idea of your mother's life expectancy. In addition to looking at nursing homes, you might want to learn more about residential hospice facilities in her present or potentially new area. My first husband died of cancer in 1959 before there were hospice residences where I lived. I would have preferred that setting if it had been available at the time.

Very glad to hear you have a plan Mark. Prayers for you because caregiving is something I don't think anyone can ever "prepare" for. Stay encouraged.

After having just moved from AZ to CA, with metastatic colon cancer it will not take long to end her life. Do not move her. She is already in hospice and given what you have told me and being a nurse, I would recommend just having her kept as comfortable as possible because it will not be long before the cancer wins. My condolences...

Mark, those last weeks of total dependence may be more than you can handle in her own home, I've seen too many on this forum totally traumatized by the enormity of those last months and weeks. It might not be practical to move her a great distance, but you may want to have a plan in place for 24 hour care just in case, I think almost any room can be made up to look like her own bedroom at that point.

I will not leave her alone in any case. But as for now, she is in her own environment, hospice people know her, etc. If she moves, she goes into a nursing home in a different state- all things - different. I am going there to look at the nursing homes myself first. The point is simple - if she stops walking- there will be a month or so to live and it would cruel to move her to a very different environment.
If not, if she stabilizes- we can move her. That;s the plan

I'm not sure exactly what your question is. The surgery will take about an hour. Moving will not effect her health, except for the stress. My best wishes!

My mom was diagnosed with advanced stage colon cancer as well. She hasn't had surgeries but will be on some form of chemo the rest of her life (she's a pretty vibrant 82 year old). She has had an extremely positive outlook since being diagnosed. There was a concerning stretch of time when she didn't have much of an appetite but that has gratefully changed now that she's on a new course of chemo.
I moved back home to be closer and help with her needs, the move has helped both of us - me with peace of mind & her knowing she isn't alone.

What does the dr say about moving? I think it would help her spirits to be in a different place other than her apt. Has she been evaluated mentally? This diagnosis can certainly weigh heavily and being able to talk through it can be helpful.

Thanks, I am very grateful

Now is not the time for a move, please. Ask the nurse about the swollen legs. If you are seeing little pinpoint bruises on the legs, called petechiae, then things are breaking down and time is pretty short. Sorry you are going through this. Once she stops eating and drinking, about ten days. Hugs.