How to get my parent off a topic?

If the proper Durable POA or court appointed Guardian are handling his affairs, due to him being no longer able to do it, I'm not sure what other explanations you might provide. People use various things that fit the situation. My cousin told me to take care of it. She was worn out and confused and was happy for me to take it off her hands.

You have already given him some explanations and I'm still not sure if those explanations were actually accepted by him, but later forgotten. Just because he keeps asking, may not mean that he does not believe you. It could also mean that he doesn't recall your answer. Why not ask about recent conversations and see how much he's actually retaining. Sometimes, with dementia, you have to keep repeating the same answer over and over. I have answered the same question from my cousin over 100 times in one day. This can go on for weeks.
Sometimes, it will run its course and the question will stop. It's difficult to predict.

We are all under control in terms of money....between family members and his account person where his money is held, so we're ok. I just was hoping for a creative answer that might get him off track!!

So when you say to random people, you mean a person who presumably was on the premises to quote for or do a job of work? What did your father think the check was for? And do we mean check, just the one, or checks, many?

I'm sorry, I know I must seem to be splitting hairs. I'm just trying to understand whether your father is a dotty old guy who will soon get over the frustration of the missing check book, or if it's possible that we're all slightly jumping the gun here - in your case with the best of intentions, of course - and it is far from surprising that your father is getting increasingly irritated about his missing check book.

So you are the Durable POA? And your dad is no longer able to handle his finances and is writing checks willy nilly to people for no good reason and may deplete his bank account? Is that it? I'd make sure that I was on sound footing with my authorization, because dad could say that he's fine. What does his doctor say?

If the handyman earned the money, then why wouldn't he cash the check?

It's nice that you are sensitive and want dad to preserve his dignity. Often, things get ugly and it doesn't work that way, because dementia causes the person to not be able to process the problem and see the solution. It's a very stressful situation. I hope you can find some answers that help.

It's very important that you document his incompetency, with written reports from two MD's. If you don't and he accuses you of stealing his money (this will happen soon) you will be in the hot seat.

The checks are to a handyman and I asked him not to cash it, but he did. I have POA but want to allow him to keep his dignity as long as I can. He has cognitive decline but he's always been very into finances, so it's tricky.

I'd make sure that I had the legal authority to act on your parent's behalf. It sounds like cognitive decline. Is that it? Have they been diagnosed? I'd legal advice pronto. But, if it's dementia, the reason they keep asking is perhaps because they forget your answer. They may just keep thinking of where it is and not remember your explanations. I would consider that. Also, one response is that the checks ran out and are already ordered and enroute. If they are forgetting your response, then they will never realize that that day of arrival never comes.

What are the checks for? If they're not made out to anyone who seriously expects to cash them, then close the account (transferring its balance to a dedicated new account for him) and, after a suitable interval, let him write the checks. Just make sure everyone knows not to cash them! Or tear a strip off the bottom to erase the account number, or something like that to invalidate them.

If he's sending away for goods and you can't do that, then tell him the bank has recalled the check book for security reasons and you are waiting for them to issue a replacement. And cross your fingers behind your back.

You do have POA for your father, yes?