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Tattoochick Asked September 2016

Advice about letting Mom return to assisted living after hospital stay?

Mom was only in assisted living for he week and two days and is now in hospital. Let me make it clear it was nothing the ALF did. Mom is a brittle type 1 Diabetic. She refused to leave apartment, was refusing to bath or even change her clothes, even with them bringing her meals and sitting with her she was refusing food. I even stock her kitchen with her favorite foods. So all of that causes major sugar problems. Not taking care of her meds or self was a major part of her moving to ALF. She is in the early stage of dementia as well. As I visit her in ICU I feel major guilty of doing the wrong thing. She can not come live with me for many reasons. One major being I can not manage her diabetes well. So I do not know if I should have her go back to the ALF, move to a memory care ALF or nursing home. I just don't know who can handle her crazy brittle Diabetes and behavior issues. I don't want to have moving her as we continue to figure it out. Suggestions anyone have a similar situation?

jeannegibbs Sep 2016
Medical guidance would be helpful at this point. Also ask the ALF their opinion of whether their level of care is suitable for her.

Managing her diabetes is a medical task. Nursing homes have staff skilled at this. I think that is the level of care your mother needs at this point. But that is an opinion based on a few sentences you wrote. Get opinions from those closer to the situation!

Then make a decision and do your best to make it work. Do your best -- but also accept that you do not have total control. This is very definitely Not Your Fault.

BarbBrooklyn Sep 2016
Guidance

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BarbBrooklyn Sep 2016
Tatoo, I would also stop stressing right now (since mom's medical needs seem to be paramount). Get in touch with the discharge planning office at the hospital NOW and tell them that you are going to need fuidance about what level of care she's going to need.

freqflyer Sep 2016
Tattoochick, you are doing everything you can in your Mom's best interest. It's not your fault that your Mom is being so stubborn or being on strike because she doesn't want to be in Assisted Living.

Set up an appointment with the Assisted Living head person for an assessment in regard to your Mom. Let them make the suggestions on what they can do, as this isn't this first rodeo. See if the Assisted Living has a memory section. Usually the rooms are studio size with no kitchen. It's my understand those with dementia do better in that size room as they can see all of their possessions no matter where they are sitting in the room.

My Dad is now in a Memory Care studio apartment after only 8 months in a lovely large Independent Living apartment. He doesn't mind the smaller size as he sees the $$$ he is saving by being there :)

zythrr Sep 2016
Tattochick

That's totally understandable. I take it she can't give herself the shot(s) she may need to keep it under control? I feel bad for you. If she is not doing well in her present ALF, then a change would be in order.

Tattoochick Sep 2016
Man I can not type on my tablet

Tattoochick Sep 2016
I did find one that only memory care, but i am so worried that they will not he able to keerp her diabtes in control. I just don't want to keep moving her from place to place as it seems yo make the dementia worse.

zythrr Sep 2016
Poor mother, Maybe a different NH/AL would help,hopefully a highly rated one.

Tattoochick Sep 2016
Sorry about typos cell phone and thumb problems. The title should be Advice about letting Mom return to Assiated Living after hospital stay

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