My mother lost her memory and has not paid her credit card bills in over 6 months. I can't pay them. What can we do?

When you make those calls put it on speaker phone & record the call - mention the time during call & the date - notify as others said above - so with later calls you can say they are harassing her after they said they wouldn't & you have the proof in the recording - inform them next time they will be charged with elder abuse - lay 1 charge & rest will hear fast enough & quit bothering you - hope this helps

Your mother's credit debt is not your responsibility. And your mother is driving? Why?

Desperate4, back in 2013 my dad got into financial trouble. He had only social security & he was over $21,000 in debt.

I pulled his credit report so I could see all of his creditors. Then I sent a registered return receipt letter stating that my dad did not have the means to pay the debt & they were to stop contacting him.

Discover & Capital One both attempted to sue him. I called Legal Aid & they answered the court summons & appeared in court on my dad's behalf.

You are not responsible for your mom's credit card debt. Do not even think of trying to pay it. You mom will not lose her house either. When creditors call tell them that they are not to call you in accordance with the Fair Debt Collections Act.

If they send your mom a Summons to appear in court call Legal Aid. They will help. Don't worry about this.

Unfortunately Vegaslady is wrong, sort of. If the house payment is current. They can put a lien on it that makes it hard to sell. If she is forced into bankruptcy, the ctefit cards get their money plus 9% interest. BUT they can not touch her SS income!!
Also if calls come in inform them that all communication MUST be made in writing! When they call again, ask for tbeor name, work ID#, work address. At this point most hamg up. Inform them any further phone calls will be reported to the States Attorney since they were told to send things in writing.
Create a form letter:
Ms Smith has dimentia and can not be held legally liable for purchases
Please note thos on the account.
Her only income is Social Security so it is a waist of ypur time and money to attempt to file a lien.
All future correspondence should ne sent to ---- ( find a friend or person from your church who is an attorney amd will run interference for you pro bono (free).

If she is driving, disconnect the distributor and battery cables. If the car is older, drain coolant and oil. Or block car in with one that does not work.
She will call for help, and then you give her a ride. Maybe set up Uber on your phone, send a car wjen she calls for help and pay for it, its cheap!

Oh. And please don't let her drive anymore. If she is having "memory" problems, everyone is right about her memory forgetting HOW to drive. It's less about her getting lost and more about the harm she can have on another and their family if she causes a wreck.

This answer is different from everyone else but here goes. My Mom didn't have memory problems, etc. She just didn't have enough money to live on. She had COPD. She bought extra insurance but even so, once she hit the Gap (which was early in the year), the medications were so expensive. Add to that the fact that she was depressed and "shopping" was her drug of choice and voila! She had an incredible amount of credit card debt and no way to pay the increasing monthly payments. We went to a financial advisor about filing bankruptcy. He suggested skipping the cost of filing bankruptcy and just stop making the credit card payments. What are they going to do? Mom was on Social Security. She had no assets. The house was all she had. Because she didn't drive she didn't even have a car. The only problem was all the phone calls and the threatening letters. They go on and on. And I told her she would have to put up with it, not answer or respond in any way to them. After a while, the original debtor sells the debt to a collection agency. The calls, etc. start all over again and then that company does the same and sells the debt to yet another company. Mom's credit was destroyed but she didn't need it anyway. Once she didn't have the credit card debt, her monthly expenses were far more manageable. If your Mom has a land line, either remove it or unplug it and get her a cell phone for daily use and don't give that number to any credit card company. If the land line is unplugged, she won't be tempted to answer their calls. This worked for my Mom and, as bad as it was for her to refuse to pay her debts, it helped her over a very hard time until she passed. Oh, one thing. If your Mom has anything besides the house, they will go after it. And, they can come after payment against the estate once she passes so be aware that this doesn't necessarily make the house free and clear. It depends on the company. Those that sent letters to Mom, and as her only child, to me. I just ignored and did not respond. If you would have told me that a person could just stopped paying credit card debt without any repercussions I would never have believed it but it is true in some circumstances. Hope this helps!

PS - as soon as I acquired guardianship we sold the house - your mom's house will be foreclosed on or taken for taxes if she can't make her payments. If she has equity in the house, sell it and put the money in a trust that will provide for her and shelter her money from creditors. Consult an elder planner to find out how to do so and still keep her eligible for Medicaid.

I would echo the concern about your mother driving. I am now guardian of someone who got lost several times for more than 24 hours (all points bulletins had to be put out), culminating in her taking off to another state where she thought she was "going home" to her long gone childhood home. She crashed into someone at a stop light and smashed her face. The family arranged to get rid of the car, telling her that the car was smashed in the accident. Thank goodness it wasn't worse. PLEASE get rid of your mom's car - tell her you are taking it to a garage for an oil change or something and that they said the car was dangerous to drive (it is...in her hands). We had to do the same thing with my grandfather - everyone was a nervous wreck about his driving. He offered the car to me, and when I went to back it out of his driveway, I discovered the brakes were gone - I could barely stop the car when I backed out into the road. He had been driving it and didn't even recognize that the car had no brakes, and could have killed or injured someone. The person I am guardian for has lots of credit cards - I am now trying to get a credit report to find out just how bad it is. She accepted every store's offer for discounts if she applied for credit cards right then and there, so she had multiples of some. She had a stack 2" high, and when her purse went missing, no one could tell if any credit cards were stolen or being used. So I am now sending letter and documents everywhere trying to find out how bad it is. I am starting to research if people with mental incapacities are liable for these debts, and will challenge them on that basis.

The credit card debt is unsecured debt. That means the house is not collateral and cannot be taken to pay that debt. It is possible for unsecured creditors to go to court to get a judgment, file a lien that could attach to her property. That is unlikely, especially if they are informed of her inability to pay.

Your mother's debt isn't yours and it sounds like you didn't cosign anything. You are not responsible for her credit card debt and don't start paying it. You have to take care of your bills first. What ever you do, don't become responsible for her debt or start paying it. If they start any kind of shinanigans, get as much as you can in writing.

Desperate,

Beware of calling the credit card companies from your phone. I had the exact same situation with my dad and in trying to do the right thing I called his credit cards. After that they had MY phone number. They couldn't reach my dad anymore (who was dying in a nursing home) so they called my number relentlessly. I had to ask each lender to stop calling me, that I was not attached to the debt, that it was my father's debt, and that he was in a nursing home. A few still called so I blocked their number. After my dad died I called them to inform them. A couple asked for the death certificate, one asked me to fill out some kind of packet which I never did, and eventually the calls stopped. But they made my life hell for months.

My mom knows t hat she has

Desperate4......It scares me that she is driving with no memory. What if she "forgets" the gas is on the right, the break on the left. What if she "forgets" that a RED light means STOP...and with winter soon here.."forgets" to fill the tank with gas and gets turned around on a country road.
Unfortunately it often takes an emergency to realize that someone needs full time care or needs to be supervised 24/7.
I hate the idea of taking someone that can do for themselves and removing some ADL's but when it comes to safety sometimes the hard thing is the right thing.
I hated taking the keys away from my husband..but it was no longer safe for him to drive
I hated removing him (us) from a house that he had lived in for over 60 years but the house was not accessible when the time came and I could not maintain it.
I hated obtaining Guardianship but it was the only way that I was able to sell his family house and move us to a house that he would be safe if for the long term.
I do hope she remains safe.....and that you find a solution to the financial problems.
By the way..not to "rock the boat" or accuse but is it possible that your brother is making charges on your Mothers credit cards or are all the expenses hers?
Again consult a lawyer.

You know that's the thing my mom is able to do things for herself. She's on oxygen so she can't cook and y brother fixes her meds for her. She does her own laundry and all that she goes to pulmonary 3 times a week drives herself. She has called me a couple times and she was lost and I helped her walk through that and she got there just fine. My brother lives there in the garage however he works full-time during the day so I do a lot of running back and forth because I do her yard I clean her house, etc. but as far as being able to do for herself she does and I don't get it I don't understand how the memory can be totally gone but yet she can function on a daily basis. The doctors do not have a diagnosis for her.

You are not responsible for debts that are your Mothers.
If you do not have POA for finances or health care you need to obtain Guardianship.
Talk to a lawyer that knows Elder Care.
I do not recommend Guardianship lightly as it is a Pain in the ***. But it may be the only thing that you can do at this point.
Cancel credit cards. If they do not allow you to cancel them without proper paperwork then hide them so she can not use them. You also may want to hide the checkbook. If you are on her checking account or savings account monitor those as well. Or see if you can establish on line monitoring of her accounts so you can see what is going on.
If your Mother has had memory problems for 2 years how is she managing to live at home? Or is someone with her all the time?
You may want to start the application process for Medicaid if you think she will qualify. If she does go into a facility the sale of her house (if it is in her name) may be used to pay debts. But again that is something that the lawyer will help you determine.
Personal opinion...she probably should not be living home alone. (if she currently is)

Can we lose the house when she passes due to credit card debt?

All of her credit cards are gone now. I have not called the credit card c ompanies because i just dont know where to start. I really need to dig deeper into her finances to see if there is ANY money left over to make payments. No she has not given me POA.

First, they can't make you responsible for her debt so stop worrying about that. Did she ever grant you POA so you can speak for her? My first move would be take away her credit cards since she obviously can't use them responsibly, then I would call the credit card company and explain the situation to them and ask if they can arrange a reasonable payment plan with reduced interest, make sure you speak to someone high enough to authorize that.