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H
holsen08 Asked September 2016

How can I stop my grandma from scolding my kid?

My family and I live with my grandma because of her dementia but she has gotten into the habit of trying to scold and parent my 7 yr old daughter and she is not nice about it. Whenever it happens I tell her I've got it and not to worry about it but it keeps happening and it's upsetting my daughter. Especially since my grandma yells at her over the stupidest things like purposefully mispronouncing words or dancing.

WizerOne Oct 2016
Time to leave.

jeannegibbs Oct 2016
I think your daughter is a little young for this to be a learning experience for her. And GMa is beyond learning.

Sad as it is, your living there to take care of GMa is not a suitable solution.

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JoAnn29 Oct 2016
Your daughter is too young to undestand Dementia. I agree that living with GMa may not be a good thing with a young child. To be honest, if GMa has children they should be taking care of her. She may need to be an AL if others cannot live with her. I understand that family want to keep Mom in her home but sometimes it isn't plausible. Do what is right for your family.

Llamalover47 Oct 2016
You CAN'T continue to live there.

pamstegma Sep 2016
You move out, plain and simple. Children abused by their grandparents carry scars for life. You might be able to take the abuse, but little ones cannot.

Sunnygirl1 Sep 2016
I'd read a lot about dementia and how people act when they have it. It's not the kind of thing that you can reason with the person, convince them to cooperate or prevent them from saying things. Plus, she likely forgets that you told her to not correct the child. The memory gets worse, so what you said yesterday is not likely to still be around the following day. Plus, their impulse control is lost, as is judgment. I might work on keeping your daughter amused elsewhere so as to not be in grandmother's vacinity OR redirect the child's behavior before grandmother can get to her.

Having a young child in the home with a person with significant dementia can be problematic and concerning for some of the reasons you give. I don't know of anyway to stop grandmother's behavior and it could adversely effect the young child. I'd explore other options. Is there any other family member where your mom may go and live?

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