Husband is in a nursing home, would like to bring him home.

If the interested party does not show up at the hearing, the hearing simply proceeds without them. The judge appoints a court evaluator and a GAL (guardian ad litem) who is the ward's attorney for the proceeding. The evaluator interviews the ward and reports back to the judge that the ward does need a guardian OR does not need a guardian. The GAL defends the ward at the hearings. The wife has her own separate attorney to defend her rights. No way can this go down without the wife knowing about it.

Pam, you'll know: hypothetically, if an interested party - e.g. the ward in the case and his second wife - is served papers but fails to read them on the assumption that if the papers are ignored they will go away and therefore makes no attempt to respond... what would happen?

Before the guardian hearing began, all interested parties, including the wife, were served legal papers advising them when the hearing would be. The first hearing is a "show cause" where both sides have to speak their opinion. I am sorry you don't remember that. It was also the judge who ordered supervised visitation. This is to prevent absconding with the patient.
My advice is, sign in, ask to visit with him in a common area and try to remain composed. Ask your MD for meds to help stay calm. Your health comes first.

btyner, I feel there is more to the family dynamics. The fact that you mentioned how many times your husband's daughter was been married is the first clue that you don't care much for her... otherwise it would never been mentioned in print.

Since your husband is living in a nursing home that tells me that he needs a higher level of care than one could give him at home. Will you be hiring around the clock caregivers for his care, as there is no way you could take care of your husband on your own.

And since you are unable to visit your husband as much as you like, how do you know how often his daughter comes to visit him? Just curious. Just trying to get all the pieces of this puzzle together so to help answer you better.

I've never heard of a court appointing a Guardian without providing written notice to other family members, especially a spouse. The law usually requires that. I'd certainly get a second legal opinion about it. There should be proof of how Notice was provided in the court file.

Plus, I would inquire about filing to revisit the appointment, if the daughter is not doing a good job. You would benefit from having an attorney to help with that. It is quite relevant as to what kind of job she is doing for the Ward. It's not just about how she treats you. It's about how she treats him too. I'd get another legal opinion.

If you are saying that you will leave with your husband, perhaps that's why daughter insist that there be a witness present.

I would not underestimate how much time, energy, and resources that are needed to provide around the clock care for a dementia patient. If you and she have disagreed about your ability to handle it by yourself in your home, perhaps, that's why she has an issue with you. Is that the case?

Something doesn't add up here. What happen to allow the daughter to get control over her dads affairs?

How can I get care for my husband at home

How can you get the nursing home to work with me and allow me to visit my
husband without having someone with me?

The step-daughter is the one that refuses to allow me to bring him home- she does not like me - she has been married 4 times and my husband and I have
been married 43 years. I have attempted to be friendly to her and have always
took care of my husband. We worked together in our business 46 years without
any problems. She went to court and took custody of my husband without any
notice to us. I am not allowed to visit my husband at the nursing home without
someone with me due to her having custody of the person and not wanting me
to be with my husband. She has this great need to be in charge of everything and took custody without any warning from court or her. My lawyer says without
her doing anything to me there is nothing I can do. She tells the nurses not even
to allow me to wash his clothes and I must have someone with me or I must
leave. She rarely comes to see him but if I go into his room without someone
with me they show me out immediately.

Btynar, it is not unusual for someone who is aging to have scratches and bruises. Aging skin becomes thinner. My boss is always having black and blue marks on his hands, arms, and legs just from playing golf, or bumping into furniture in the office, etc.

My Mom had lived in long-term-care, and she also was marked up... but for her she was trying to climb out of bed and got scraped on the mechanics of the bed... or trying to get out of her wheelchair or her geri-recliner.

At this stage of his Alzheimer's/Dementia [per your profile], he would get bruised and scratched living at home, too. Too bad we can't wrap our love ones in bubble wrap.

Old skin is very fragile. The nursing home may be using a laundry detergent that is making him itch. Or his scratching could be a tick/nervous habit. Why is your husband in the nursing home? How often do you visit him? What support services do you have at home? What are your own health issues that would make it difficult for you to care for him at home? Wanting your husband home is understandable but having him function at home may not be realistic.

It sounds as if your concern is related to nursing home care. Yes? If so, contact the local Area Agency on Aging, first to see if they will visit him. The scratches? My mom with Alzheimer's often scratches herself. I do not know what causes this, maybe just dry skin. Many times the elderly with dementia develop repetitive habits, like scratching that will harm themselves. I would talk to his doctor to see if a med change or adjustment is in order.

If your daughter was appointed Guardian by the court judge, it is actually decided at the hearing where he will live. You can petition the court to bring him home. The judge will decide if that is a safe option.