A friend of mine has had a caregiver for approximately 1 month who is now trying to make all decisions for my elderly friend and wanting to be at any meeting, asking me to stay away, and seems to be trying to make a case that he is having mental disturbances due to a meeting. (During a very lucid conversation with his lawyer over other things, they asked me to act as his power of attorney. Which I initially declined. But then accepted to help him.) As a couple they were somewhat solitary people, but we had a good friendship for decades. I was willing to help because of that friendship. My concern is this caregiver, who is very good with his physical care, is wanting to be in charge of all of his affairs. After only 1 month she is trying to say that she knows him better. (It is around the clock care however that is split between caregivers, but she is the lead person.) Do I need to be concerned? Should I talk with the supervisor? Am I the one in over my head?
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Curious, who had hired the caregivers? Weree they independent contractors or from an agency? I know my Dad had a variety of different caregivers from an Agency before he choose the two he thought were the best fit.
My Dad had two these caregivers for a year, thus I felt comfortable asking their opinions on various things. Since this was my first rodeo I needed advice from someone who has been on the rodeo circuit, which these two wonderful caregivers had a lot of experience.
OldKae, since you are now Power of Attorney, bring home with you all of this couple's finance papers, and have all the bills and bank statements sent to your address. I did that for my Dad mainly because he was forgetting to pay bills, etc. That way you will have control, and not worry about any caregiver taking financial advantage if they so incline.
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Even if that caregiver is seeing things that you don't see yet, she should be informing you and including you, not trying to take over and exclude you. I think you have every right to be concerned. If it was me, I'd get that person out of your friend's life.