Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
O
OldKae Asked October 2016

Can a caregiver overstep their bounds?

A friend of mine has had a caregiver for approximately 1 month who is now trying to make all decisions for my elderly friend and wanting to be at any meeting, asking me to stay away, and seems to be trying to make a case that he is having mental disturbances due to a meeting. (During a very lucid conversation with his lawyer over other things, they asked me to act as his power of attorney. Which I initially declined. But then accepted to help him.) As a couple they were somewhat solitary people, but we had a good friendship for decades. I was willing to help because of that friendship. My concern is this caregiver, who is very good with his physical care, is wanting to be in charge of all of his affairs. After only 1 month she is trying to say that she knows him better. (It is around the clock care however that is split between caregivers, but she is the lead person.) Do I need to be concerned? Should I talk with the supervisor? Am I the one in over my head?

Eyerishlass Oct 2016
I'll throw in my two cents and agree with everything. Pay attention to this red flag immediately or the next post you make may be how the caregiver has gotten her name on your friend's financial affairs and is moving him away from family and friends. Your friend needs you to step up and look into this.

freqflyer Oct 2016
OldKae, in my opinion one month of care is way too soon for a caregiver to learn everything about their patient.

Curious, who had hired the caregivers? Weree they independent contractors or from an agency? I know my Dad had a variety of different caregivers from an Agency before he choose the two he thought were the best fit.

My Dad had two these caregivers for a year, thus I felt comfortable asking their opinions on various things. Since this was my first rodeo I needed advice from someone who has been on the rodeo circuit, which these two wonderful caregivers had a lot of experience.

OldKae, since you are now Power of Attorney, bring home with you all of this couple's finance papers, and have all the bills and bank statements sent to your address. I did that for my Dad mainly because he was forgetting to pay bills, etc. That way you will have control, and not worry about any caregiver taking financial advantage if they so incline.

ADVERTISEMENT


blannie Oct 2016
I would see ALL KINDS of red flags over this. This is how someone moves in to take financial advantage of a senior. I would speak to the supervisor and probably ask for that person to be sent to another account.

Even if that caregiver is seeing things that you don't see yet, she should be informing you and including you, not trying to take over and exclude you. I think you have every right to be concerned. If it was me, I'd get that person out of your friend's life.

cwillie Oct 2016
This caregiver may very well see difficulties your friend has managed to keep hidden from you, but to attempt to isolate him and exclude his long time friend and legal representative is definitely overstepping her boundaries. Definitely speak with the supervisor, even if there is no malicious intent the relationship lines between paid employee and employer should be firmly redrawn.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter