Dad is 77 and was recently diagnosed with Parkinsons. He has also had lifelong severe depression. And. . .my mother (his wife) is end stage Alzheimers. So he is grieving her soon-to-be loss, is suffering from the same waves of severe depression he has had his whole life, and is now seeing himself decline due to the Parkinsons. I'm overwhelmed with my mom and my 3 kids and a full time job, but I'm trying to help him too as much as possible. Every time I try to talk to him about making plans for his future, he just takes the "do nothing" approach. He says "I don't want to think about that right now." Or he says, "I'll think about it later." Well, that way of thinking put our family in absolute crises mode when my mom's Alzheimers got really severe, and I refuse to go down that road again. Any advice out there on how to talk to a depressed, grieving, elderly PD patient? I'd like to get him pinned down on his wishes for treatment should he become incapacitated, get POA in place, find an Assisted Living facility, etc.
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So in terms of the planning, that's what I'd recommend. The idea is that once you put the options in front of him, your Dad will at least be able to tell you what he *doesn't* want. Plus if God forbid the crisis does come you'll already have done your homework and you'll know what's available.
All that to say I understand where you are coming from and am so sorry you are going through this. The most important thing is to stay focused on your goal: no more crises and getting his affairs in order. Get an attorney to prepare any documents you need for him. If he has a financial planner, request a meeting. Start touring assisted living places. Show him the brochures. Keep bringing up the things that need to be discussed and if he refuses to talk about them, go home, calm down, wait a few days, and try again. And remember that it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
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If your dad isn't enthusiastic about having a social life at least try to encourage him and help him get his affairs in order. Take it piecemeal. Prioritize what you'd like done and take it one item at a time as opposed to putting a whole list in front of your dad and asking him to take care of everything.