Mom has been living in an apartment near me. We take her everywhere she needs to go. Including weekly senior get together. Now, thankfully Is moving into a senior apartment that is awesome. There is transit in place there. She gets mopey and sad when I tell her I would like her to learn to use the transit to her senior outing sometimes. This causes me to feel like a selfish person..like I'm deserting her. I tell her my husband and I have a difficult time keeping up with our home. I told her others will go on the transit with her..so she isn't fearful. She says it will cost her..a few bucks actually..and she is able to afford it. Society sides with her...she likes to be the sweet innocent victim..me the meanie. Brother lives a bit far away...and never visits...so it's me..now she is going to be more independant ..can do her own laundry..I've done it for a year now..this will be very good for her. I insist she carry her own money and pay for her purchases..with me nearby...I want her..for both if our sakes..to be confident and as independant as possible....I guess I feel like a meanie at times..my heart hurts. I just want her to live as full a life as she can..I'm on stand by...why do I feel like so bad when I'm being kindly assertive with her..
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You have to get ahead of the anxiety.
Once she was in an Independent Living facility and being monitored by a geriatric psychiatrist, a different antianxiety med ( klonopin) was prescribed, and eventually an antidepressant.
Many antidepressants have antianxiety properties. I hope that you and mom can be open to the idea that these medications can do good things and are worth a try.
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Back in the 1950's, doctors use to tell women, who were depressed, to go out and buy a new hat, that would make them fell better. Wow, if only it was that easy.
I am very anti pill taking, but will take my blood pressure pills as that is a given, but anything else forgetaboutit. Until I had to help take care of my parents. Now I am on anti-depressants [smallest dosage possible and that is cut in half], tranquilizer [smallest dosage possible]... and I am doing talk therapy. Oh my gosh, I am slowly starting to feel like my old self again, and that is so good... one step forward :)
I disagree that they only help temporarily. Taken properly, and in conjunction with good talk therapy, they can help facilitate changes in how one approaches problems in daily living.
My mom had to move out of her home due to her increasing anxiety. No amount of reassurance from us helped. We got her into a nice Independent Living facility where her new geriatric doctor recommended she be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist. Geriatric psychiatrist, in addition to changing mom's anxiety meds, strongly recommended neurocognitive testing. Guess what? Mom had had a stroke and was presenting with Mild Cognitive Impairment! Could no longer figure out how to solve even really simple situations.
Depression is a very real illness. It can rob one of the ability to feel joy, and to see possibilities. It is very different from the sadness that most of us feel when life gets us down, or when we're just blue. Get mom to a psychiatrist for a thorough evaluation of her mental health.