Not jumping to any conclusions with Mom.

As far as the depend on the floor by the bed, mom has in the past taken it off during the night. I am staying vigilant, and have not seen any indicators yet of any negative repercussions.

I have figured out it is black sharpie! When a new depend is put on mom, the time and date are marked on the front of it with a black sharpie. Either the ink is not dry, or the caregiver still has the open sharpie in her hand. 😄

When I was a young married woman I showed the doctor bruises on the inside of both thighs. I could not imagine how they got there! He said -- are you ready for this -- "Oh, that's the devil's pinch." WHAT!! I have since learned that there actually is something called Devil's Pinch syndrome, but what this doctor meant was he sometimes saw similar bruising with no discernible cause.

I, too, am interested in how your mother is now.

Mbld3207, I'm wondering how things are with your mom? Have you solved the mystery of the bruising or taken action of some kind?

You would not be asking this question if there wasn't something more, and you can't quite know it yet.

Have a chat with the D.O.N., ask if there is a new employee. Ask if there is anyone, such as a resident, allowed to wander into her room. Request that Mom's dignity be protected by having only female aides change her. Make a gentle (or in-house report), have the D.O.N. keep an eye out. Ask her for her advice.

Ask if they can have a temporary baby monitor in her room.

If you have stronger suspicions, have her examined and a rape kit performed.

mbld, I would want a blood draw to see if her platelets have dropped or IF she is on Coumadin, make sure the clotting time is OK. Mom was on Coumadin, and not only did she bruise easily, her skin became easily torn. Show the bruises to the DON (director of nursing).

This type of thing has been the stuff my worst nightmares are made of. Having a child who is nonverbal and forever functioning at a 2 y/o level he is among those most likely to be abused in his lifetime- I've worried about it 23 years and I imagine I'll worry about it until the day one of us passes on. That said - it's likely innocent enough. But there are all kinds of other signs to look for - usually things a child would display but as our elderly loved ones often are regressing, I'm sure they would apply. Go on line a do a bit of research. Things like change in behavior - becoming aggressive or fearful. A change in toilet routine - I know, difficult to judge if incontinence is an issue. If the person is at all verbal - there are very gentle, indirect questions that can yield information. Even "doll therapy" - giving them a doll and watching for inappropriate touching. I tend to jump to worst case senerios but it would naw at me - so at least arm yourself with a little knowledge. Just remember not to jump to conclusions.

Is Mom on blood thinners? Many elderly do bruise more easily anyway. Could be something as simple as Mom resisting her thighs being parted to wash. Is she shy about that?. No one seems to be taught to respect privacy these days. I would just say keep a very watchful eye on this. With so many aides being male these days they are unintenionally too rough because they have the strength to just lift a frail elder and move them.

cwillie, no, she is generally happy and pleasant. I love all the great CNAs and nurses in her memory care facility too.

I have noticed I will sometimes bruise mom's legs when I help her to stand and transfer, I've never bruised her upper thigh but I can see it might possibly happen if a caregiver is placing one leg between mom's and using her legs for leverage. Is your mom giving any signs of being more distressed or fearful?