What can I do about my sister not taking care of our mom?

No one can put a price on the pain and suffering that can result from sores and neglect. To protect your Mother's health, you could get help from the Aging Services Access Point (ASAP) the serves your town. They can explain procedures for elder protective services.

If you are unable to hire an attorney to represent you, the protective services unit may provide legal services that would petition for Guardianship. You could decide whether you want to serve as Guardian, or have a professional appointed by the Court. Your question is serious, and the passage of time with no corrective steps can result in detriment to your mother.

If you can't take care of her, and your sister won't take care of her, what other choice do you have than professional care? Surely it would be better for your mother to be in a pleasant place with three shifts of trained people to see that she is safe, gets her medications, eats well, etc. than to be neglected in a private home.

Mom would be safer in a nursing home. Start looking around for a good one.

If your sis is unwilling or unable to take care of her, you cannot force her. Even if you took the job on for 3 months yourself, with that expectation. Your 2 choices are do it yourself or put her in a facility and monitor and visit her often. Mom is equally both of your responsibility, but you cannot enforce this, additionally you may not be equipped to deal with it. Mom needs 24 hour care, a facility is likely the safest place for her and for your own emotional well being.

Find someone else, plain and simple! You might not want to put her into a home but you might not have no other choice if she can't get the care she needs outside of one. I strongly agree about the APS, call them or even show up on their doorstep. They can help you with whatever needs done. Your sister may have physical limits and may not be able to move your mom by herself and this can put her at risk of hurting herself in the process. Your sister may also not be cut out to be a caregiver or she may also be too busy with her own life, especially if she happens to be very young. Young people don't like being saddled with loads of responsibilities that restrict their own freedom. I'm not sure how you all grew up, but if there was tons of responsibilities growing up, she's probably just enjoying her freedom now. Depending on a person's situation will determine whether or not they can be caregivers because each person's situation differs, especially if they are not mentally or emotionally able to be caregivers. Someone who can't take on the full task may be able to be part of a contributing team. This is something to consider, it may be that the more people who are helping with the task will make it easier, definitely consider this and only elect people who are completely trustworthy

I can tell that you are very anxious about this for this question is very similar to one asked two minutes before. "What can i do, if i feel that my mom is being neglected by my sister, mom had a stoke and cant use the right side"

What you can do is contact adult protective services, tell them what is going on and ask them to go investigate this.

It is time to admit that the care your Mother needs is more than you, your sister or one private caregiver can provide.

Your Mom deserves better care. A home would be a better place for her. Good luck.

kathy1951 - maybe you missed the part where the poster also said her mom has an additional caregiver who puts her in her wheelchair and feeds her - in addition to the changing of soiled undergarments. That suggest needs beyond a functional adult dealing with incontinence.

If your sister says it is not her responsibility to take care of your Mom - whose job is it? Who has medical POA? I hear your frustration - if you have the medical POA ask her Doctor to find you a social worker that can help you thru this situation. If you do not have POA ask him for the name of a social worker that will know what to do. Hang in there!! It rarely is easy to do the right thing. Good Luck!