Is it stealing for a granddaughter to be paid to care for grandmother?

Here is a way you might resolve this issue. Volunteer to find someone who will stay with Mom at night without charging anything.

Anyone who takes care of a loved one (with the exception of a spouse) should be paid! Anyone -- family member, neighbor, agency person -- anyone. A family member might not be paid at the going commercial rate, and reasonable care must be given to what the loved one can afford, but to consider paying someone who provides service "stealing" is a very strange definition of stealing.

I wonder how long this very young lady will be willing to give up her evening social life to sleep over with Gramma. Enjoy it while it lasts.

The only real issue is will Mom get adequate care in this situation. At the care center she had 3 shifts of people to look after her. Will two shifts be enough? Keep an eye on how well this works out, and if Mom is any happier in this situation than she was in the care center. That is a valid concern.

P.s. All it took for my brother to change his mind was to up his visits from two quick visits a month to going once or twice a week - and a memorable occasion when my mom asked brother to help her to the bathroom. And I wasn't being compensated- I just wanted him to quite arguing with me regarding my mothers state of mind.

Before anyone makes a decision on whether a caregiver should be compensated they should do the work for at least a week - just so they have an accurate picture of what's involved. I bet there would be a lot less inter-family squabbling and a lot more generosity and compassion.

Agree with above. Consider it money reserved in the estate and more for everyone. Absolutely they should be paid as long as mom is happy and healthy and cared for and the $$ does not exceed current outgoing expense.

I'd say your Mom is probably saving a lot of money having family care for her, but it will be avlot of work for just thevtwo of them, and eventually they are going to need more help or suffer severe caregiver burnout! I hope there is a plan for Respite in place, in addition to a Cargivers Contract for the both of them. Certainly they won't be being paid nearly as much as a Nursing home would charge. Ultim, more money to share as inheritance, but who is actually paying the price? The family caregivers, that's who! Please be supportive, as this arrangement may not be sustainable for too long.

I think it sounds like a very good idea unless she is paying her an outrageous amount. Why would you feel like she shouldn't be paid if she is performing a service? If it bothers you, maybe you and your sister could arrange it so that she was staying with her during the day and you would be there at night. Then you wouldn't need to pay anyone. (This is assuming that your sister isn't taking some type of pay.)

Nola, as long as there is a caregiver written agreement that conforms with Medicaid rules, it is legal. You say sis is medical POA, but who is in charge of finances? That's a key question.
If you think this is stealing, then you go there and do the work for a week straight. It might change your thinking. Nursing homes get $400 a day. Tell us what you think is fair pay.

The nursing home was not perfect.But it was okay. But they did cover the basics.Her reason for taking mom out of the home was that mom was not "happy".I know mom will not be happy wherever she is.She does not recognize her own home.I wonder sometimes if my siblings are doing this for inheritance to be left.

Nola, think of it this way.... would you rather have your sister pay a non-relative caregiver to stay the night with Mom at probably $25/hour or to pay your niece to stay with your mother, someone she knows? Nursing homes are not cheap, my Mom was in a long-term-care facility and it cost her $15,000 per month [$500 per day].

I see from the profile that your Mother has Alzheimer's/Dementia. There must have been a reason she was in a nursing home. Honestly, why would anyone take a person who needs such a higher level of care away from a professional facility.... unless there was something terribly wrong with the nursing home.

Eventually your Mom will need 3 shifts of care. Your sister's daughter will find herself being up all night and not getting any sleep if your Mom gets into the phase of wandering around the house. And your sister will be doing 2 shifts of care, unless you live close enough and are able to help her out.

Yes, your sister is saving money, but at who's expense?