I offered to help my boyfriend (80) with his finances only to uncover huge debts. What do I do?

Depending on the level of dementia it may be too late to get POA. He must be mentally competent to assign POA.

This is sticky. The kids may or may not be honorable as to his finances but my instinct is that they need to be informed and involved and possibly seek guardianship to deal,with the finances.

If you were to try and take control it would lead to much fighting between you and the kids. And heed Freq Flyers advice: Do NOT take on or pay thus debt with your funds. Don't respond to or deal with his debtors in any way. This is not your cross to bear.

Thank you for your comments. His children do not like or respect me. There is no POA at this time, however, I am hoping this will change - is it advisable to get a POA in my name or do I leave his fate in his off springs hands, There are step children who were never adopted but who changed their last name thinking they will collect on his estate..

Huge debts can happen without dementia, poor financial judgment, and by not setting a budget. There isn't anything his children can do as the debt is his and his alone.... unless others had co-sign for loans, cars, mortgages, etc.

thebrit, you have a huge job if you wish to help him sort though these bills. But whatever you do, do NOT pay any of the bills for him. You are not legally tied to him.

Are you your boyfriend's Power of Attorney? Or does that belong to one of his children. If one of the children is POA, had the financials to that child to sort out.

I hope you have your financials separate from your boyfriend.

Wow, if I were the GF I would be afraid the kids would be mad at me and accuse me of taking all the money. Can you talk to the hospital social worker and have him/her contact the kids instead?

Mismanaging finances is often an early sign of dementia. Poor guy. I think I agree with Barb, that his children need to know, unless the relationship is dysfunctional. Did they visit him in the hospital? Are they local? Are they aware of his dementia?

It sounds as though you need to be in touch with his children.