Mom's house has sold and she has Alzheimer's. Should we take mom to closing or just go ourselves and sign the document?

No, no no - do not take her. I also struggled with this decision. I do not know how bad your mom's dementia is - but they do not process things normally any more. She may not even remember that you sold her house and then refuse to sign the papers. You want this to go smoothly right?

I didn't know what to do, but confided in staff at the day center she attended and they said "no" do not take her. Later, I know I did the right thing. She has so much emotional attachment to her home, that I think it would of been to painful for her. Also, after I sold her house, she asked me later what house I sold - referring to her home as a child. That clarified to me that I did the right thing.

I would get the advice of an elder law attorney. You never know what glitches may come up, if any.

When we sold out horse farm we held an auction and we choose not to be there. When we left the UK many years ago we had an auction house take our surplice belongings and put them in one of our auctions. What upset me the most was reading through the list and the sums they had sold for. Reading that was a big mistake - should have just deposited the check and forgotten all about it. I did not mind parting with the stuff as it was a company move and we had the choice of buying new here or having everything shipped. We were excited about buying new so it was no great loss.

I think it would be too upsetting to see her home being sold even if she has dementia that way there is nothing to remember and be confused about it.

I remember ages ago being at a real estate closing where for whatever reason the buyers didn't get a babysitter for their children. There we were with a 1 year old, 5 year old, and 6 year old. There was crying... there was screeching... toys were being thrown... "can we go home now" after 5 minutes.

Oh how I wished I could have asked the parents if it would be ok if the 2 older children went out in the hall and played with the elevators :P

I was a nervous wreck after that closing, so I doubt an elder would be able to survive that.

When my mom moved in with me she had an auction on all her belongings. She went to it and it was the worst mistake we ever did. She has dementia and the one thing she remembers is watching all her belongings go. I hear it all the time about that but what she doesn't remember is signing the paperwork for the Auction and meeting the Auctioneer. She claims he just did that on his own. Its really sad. Nobody has POA so her house is still sitting empty. In the process of getting Guardianship. Good luck.

No. I left my husband at home and signed with the DPOA. Title company did call him and asked if DPOA was still in force and I alerted caregiver to have him prepared to answer. So much easier than sitting through closing and confusing the issue.

NO! there will be enough to do without the distractions. As long as you are the POA and have proof of her inability to deal with her personal business. There is absolute no need to take her to closing.
Just make sure all your T's are cross and I's are dotted. Organization is the key. Make sure you have "all" the paperwork in order, call the closing company and ask them what paperwork you must bring. This will be a daunting task, I should know I have been through it.

Gladimhere - Not to worry, even if she could talk. Both DPOAs are in place and they would have the last say. An incompetent person cannot execute real estate documents.

No do not take her! What if she decided in her confusion to back out?

Are you kidding? Having just gone through the sale of my house requires one to sign documents for at least one to two hours because there will be a special affidavit regarding this house. It will require one or both of the DPOAs to sign your mother's name, then Attorney-in-Fact, then the person designated to sign for your mother. Not only is it time-consuming, but your hand gets tired signing all those names. What is your mother going to do but sit, not understanding what is going on...she might have to use the bathroom and the title companies have allotted so much time for your closing, and they need to stick to their schedule. Definitely keep her with someone at home or eating out, and you will eliminate some of the stress associated with closing escrow. I left my husband at home and I needed a break about half way through...The best part is when the money gets dispersed and your bank account increases!

If there is no need for her to be there do not bring her.
It is confusing even for someone that does not have Dementia.
All the papers going back and forth, the numbers talk, the disclosures.....
And it will take a while. Even I was antsy to leave when I made a house purchase and had to go through all this.
Have someone take her out for coffee or tea. Or if she is established somewhere now stay home with her and enjoy the few hours of calm.

Yes I do agree with All Who say No not to take Your Mom, as We All know with a Love One Who has Alzheimer's You kneed every decision and action to be as easy and as painless as possible for Them. People forget that Alzheimer's Sufferers can no longer process reason. Such is the horror of this awful disease of the Brain. God Love Them.

I would absolutely not take her. Yeah, it could go smoothly although l…o…n…g and mom would be just fine. But if she gets to closing and gets all "I don't want to do this" & balks at signing, or seems to be pressured by family the staff at the title company or Realtor office could stop the closing as the seller is doing this under duress and somebody in the family could try to have it voided. Unhappiness all around. Happens all the time, especially if sibling rivalry exists or parents not firing on all 8 cylinders.

Leave them home and make sure your DPOA allows for all & any financials to be done. A good Realtor would have had your DPOA vetted when the listing was done as to this too.

Besides closing being long and drawn out, I didn't want my Dad to attend [unless he had insisted, which he didn't], he probably would have needed to use the rest room numerous times, thus I would have needed to bring his caregiver.

Also, Dad loves to chat, and who knows what he would be saying about the house. Dad having sundowning, he might start making up stories about the house that weren't real.... oh dear.

Another thought - it won't be just one document; there will be several. That might be tedious and confusing for your mother.

My experience was like FF.. I just was able to do it all according to the POA, which was checked out in advance. It went smoothly

jsadaughter, when the house got a Contract, who signed the Contract? If it was you or someone else who is POA then that person(s) will need to go to the real estate closing on the house, and sign all the necessary papers placed in front of them.

When my Dad had me put his house on the market For Sale, Dad signed the real estate Listing Agreement and he later signed the Contract that he accepted from the Buyer as he still understood the documents. Since real estate closings can be long and drawn out, the closing Attorney let me represent my Dad on settlement day since I had financial Power of Attorney.

Therefore, when I brought the Contract and all the Addendums to the closing Attorney, I also had to bring the original of the Power of Attorney [which was later returned to me after the deed was booked at the County offices]. The closing Attorney first had to make sure the Power of Attorney had the correct verbiage regarding real estate sales.

To clarify, I should have written that she might think she has nowhere to go now.

I wouldn't take her. Handing over the keys could be a visible signal to her that the house is no longer hers, and that could be depressing. With ALZ, it could be misconstrued and she might misunderstand the situation and think she has no home any more.

If the title company will accept the DPOA, just sign pursuant to that. Your realtor should confirm this with the title company for you.

What does your lawyer say? I know when I sold my mother's property I did all the paperwork, but the lawyer asked for my POA and vetted it well in advance of closing.