How do you determine how much to charge a parent who has moved in with you?

You are entitled to charge her for your services, but you need a written contract that spells out your duties. As for payment, check around and see what it would cost her to hire someone in your area to do the same things. As long you do not charge more than that, you are ok with Medicaid.

Ferris, that's a lovely sentiment but lets be real, does it make any sense for an elder to accumulate wealth while a family member struggles with the extra costs involved in caring for them? Especially when as Americans your government will claim every last penny of that bankroll if the elder ever needs skilled care?

In subsidized housing, she would pay 30% of her income. As for services, you need a written contract to be Medicaid compliant. See an attorney to be sure you are in compliance with the law.
You will need to bring the Rx from the MD for home care, specifying what assistance and how many hours are needed for her.

When I was my husbands Guardian I got a court ordered "budget" that I could charge him for certain items.
He paid X amount for garbage, water, phone, cable, newspaper, food, gas, electric, mortgage and all the rest of the household expenses. Any personal items I had to save receipts and when approved I could take that from his account. the approved items I could write a check each month.
I would consult an Elder Care Attorney and set this up correctly.
The lawyer may cost a bit but it will be far less expensive for you to do it right the first time than try to "fix" what you did.
You may have to become her Guardian.
And as a Child you can charge for being her caregiver. As a spouse I could not pay myself for being my husbands caregiver.

"No greater tragedy exists in modern civilization than the aged, worn-out worker who after a life of ceaseless effort and useful productivity must look forward for his declining years to a poorhouse. A modern social consciousness demands a more humane and efficient arrangement."- FDR,1929. "Old age is at once the most certain, and for many people the most tragic of all hazards. There is no tragedy in growing old, but there is tragedy in growing old without means of support"-FDR, 1934. SS was meant for support to keep families together. Allowing grandma to keep the check while you lose the house defeats the whole intention of the program.

When I started full-time care if my mom, I was blessed to be able to go part-time and work mostly from home. I could not sustaining home on that income so my step dad pays me the balance of my salary from mom's as and retirement. He also covers things like ensure, pads, wipes, the hospital bed and other equipment. My mom makes enough to go to a nice nursing home but we all want her at home. I would do it for a smile and hug too (although my mom can no longer do either) but it would be a huge financial hardship to my family. This works for us, I am not "gaining" by caring for mom. I think you do whatever is fair. And ferris, while I know where you are coming from, there is a difference. A child has no income and parents need to decide before having them that they can afford it (at least they should). If we had to survive I only my income, my mom's life would not be as nice as it is....she has everything to make her life comforable....wipe warmer, hospital bed, heated blankets, recliner, alternating pressure pads on bed and recliner, wheelchair, nicest pads "diapers" money can buy, changed often, oral sponges with mint, .....her money should be spent to make her life better. Having me work part time from home and care for her makes her life better. Her investments are not touched, we don't exceed her income. When she dies, her assets will be split among her 3 children. I feel she would be pleased with this if she was able to understand.

When my mother moved into my sister's home, Sis charged her the same amount she had been paying for subsidized housing. Sis also accepted the caregiving amount the county paid because Mom was on Medicaid. Mom could never have afforded the going rate for Sis's services plus room and board, but she could certainly pay what she was used to paying.

Mom didn't want to leave her apartment. She thought she was fine where she was. One of my other sisters took her aside and "confided" in her that Sis was having some financial problems since she retired and she really needed to rent out her extra rooms. Oh, well, in that case my mother was willing to move to help Sis out!

Old folks deserve the opportunity to pay their own way, to the extent that they are able to. Why should they be deprived of that dignity?

Oh for pity's sake, ferris1, taking care of your HUSBAND is not remotely the same as taking on the housing, feeding, and care of a parent. Nobody has asked how much they should charge their spouse.

I read through all of these responses and was hesitant on responding myself but chose to put this out there. No child ever "wants" to charge their parent to care for them and of course we didn't pay for baby food or diapers when we were infants. The difference in those two scenarios is that when someone has a child they are choosing to add to their family and know the expenses that are associated with that decision. In my case,I had to stop working to care for my mother when I moved her into my home , thus I no longer pay in to social security for my retirement and no longer receive vacation days or holidays off. Caring for a parent is 24/7 just like caring for a child. The difference there is that you can call the neighborhood teen to babysit your child or swap with another parent you can't do that with a 93 year old who is bedridden and can't go to the bathroom by themselves. For someone to give up their life and care for a parent at home to avoid placing them in a nursing home is the ultimate sacrifice and personally I believe should be compensated. The bad news is that as we age and can no longer care for ourselves someone will have to do it for us and unfortunately that will not come free. If you don't financially pay for the care the mental and physical strain will be used as payment instead

Ferris1-I don't know what your personal financial situation is, but obviously you are not in touch with the other caregivers whose situation is more difficult. Your answer sounds judgmental to me. What do you mean-there would be millions homeless? If families can't pool their resources to care for their own-there would not be enough facilities to care for all the elderly who need help. The government should consider supplementing the income of caregivers who need the money to make it possible to care for elders. The cost is incredibly cheaper than what any 'in-home' care costs from agencies, any assisted living, especially any memory care facilities. Medicaid costs are astronomical! And Medicare etc. does not help with the most needed 'respite care' for caregivers. Maybe you are one unusually strong human being-but having lived through years of 24/7 caregiving for Alzhiemer's patients-it is one of the most difficult tasks there is and love doesn't keep people from burning out or succumbing to the stress and often dying before their patient. "It takes a village," is what most people need under these circumstances-especially when they have families, children, grandchildren, etc. of their own. It has nothing to do with incorrect "priorities" and my empathy goes out to 2caringformom1.