My father who has vascular dementia and Parkinson's has recently become unable to swallow anything. How do I handle this?

Does he have an advance directive on health care, and are you his proxy? My husband had vascular dementia, and although his cognitive impairment was mild most of the time, his "executive function" was not. His advance directive said no gastric feeding tube, and when he became unable to swallow I decided to place him in a residential hospice because I couldn't care for him in the independent living facility we had moved to to be close to his children. He did not appear to be hungry, and he received regular mouth care by the staff. I spent the night there once the signs of dying set in. He was given morphine at that time. It was oh so difficult to watch him wither away, but I still believe it was the right decision for us both. Medicare pays for hospice care, but room and board was out of our pocket...so a lengthy stay would not have been possible. He lived for 3 weeks.

SoBlessed, I am sorry that you are going through this. Pam and cwillie gave excellent advice. Some things are out of our hands, so we have to turn them over and just be there to comfort our loved one. I know it is heartbreaking, but it is part of your father's personal journey. Sending you a big cyber hug from the group.

I've done a lot of reading about what is normal at the end of life. It helps to understand that the desire for food diminishes and then disappears completely and they are not experiencing hunger.

A speech therapist can do an evaluation and make some recommendations. In some instance, the person does better with thickened liquids or pureed foods. The therapist will be able to assess and offer suggestions.

You call in Hospice to help you. Don't try to tackle this alone, it's too overwhelming. Been there. Done that.