My mother suffers from fibromyalgia, arthritis, debilitating anxiety and panic disorder and is generally unwell. I also suspect her of having a narcissistic borderline personality. If I felt I could, I would cut her off immediately. I have no feelings of compassion towards her. The problem is that I am financially tied to her. She could not get a lease with her credit so I helped (because she threatened to move in with me if I didn't). She's said if I ever stop helping, she will stop paying her rent. She leased a car with my co-signing then could not afford the payments, so told me that I should switch her my paid off car with the leased car. I am driving the newer leased car but she has threatened to come get it and hide it from me, and I'll still be stuck making payments. Anyways-- she does not drive farther than a minute from her house. I drive her everywhere. I have suggested (at the suggestion of this helpful forum!) to get a "helper" for her to drive her places once or twice a week so that I'm not left doing everything. Her response? "I absolutely will not do that. If you have the money to hire a helper, you can just give me that money and continue driving me." WHAT? So frustrating. This morning I took her to surgery and she actually told me "When I am getting a procedure done, I am God." I cannot take this anymore.
4 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
ADVERTISEMENT
She can't move in with you, if you don't allow it. If you can't seem to stand up for yourself, then I might talk to a counselor of a support group that might help give you skills to do that.
If you believe that she is not competent to handle her own affairs, then, I'd get legal advice on how to proceed with Guardianship, if that is the route you choose.
Hire an aide to drive her to her appointments and refuse to drive her yourself. If she balks or throws a fit continue to refuse to drive her and let her miss the appointment. She's got you by the throat and you have to gain back some control over your own life.