How do I handle my husband's rude sisters?

Staceyb: Wow.. I am batting "1,000." So many errors...time for cataract surgery. So sorry.

Should have hang UP

Staceyb: Thank you so much for the birthday well wishes! That's very sweet of you!

Continued- "who are those 33 people?" Me-"there's my friends and relatives, of course." Sorry my phone hit send before I could proofread and finish.

Staceyb: You're absolutely right! I SHOULD have hung on the screaming SIL, whom I called simply to ask if I could bring anything else to the Christmas event. A person, such as she, who didn't even say hello first IMO is presumably ill in the head. The thing is is that all 4 SIL's are so closely bonded that if I HAD hung up, I would have their wrath coming down on me like the storm of the century. I am so sorry to hear that you, too, has a SIL who choses to self medicate (not manage her illness). Well individuals know that doesn't work very well, thus the a acrimony you receive from her! Now why in the world would I display in my home a photo including a person who had recently bitten my head off, verbally?!! "You're sure that they will be on their best behavior?" Oh, how wonderful that would be! Here's 3 of them-"

LL, if an inlaw called me up Screaming, I would have hung up immediately! It has happened to me before, as my SIL is a bipolar Alcoholic, who is actively drinking, and does not medically manage her mental disorder.

The picture "gift", just weird, in my opinion! Now if a family party was in session, and picture packets were being handed out to the group, thats one thing, but to a young lady, a single framed picture, yes, a simple thank you, as your daughter did, was fine, I guess, still strange though! It seemed more like a dig at you, IMO, but I'm not sure why? Especially at a holiday event?

But, there you have it, there's not a lot you can do, but ignore their strange behavior. Insighting further comment only give them a reason to further attack you. Don't give it to them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope it is a Merry Occasion! Your husband sounds like he has your back, thats great!

Your Birthday party, your rules! If someone gets out of line, politely ask them to leave! That would get their attention! Nobody should upset you 70th birthday! I'm sure that they will be on their best behavior, or why come at all? I truly hope its a fun event! Take care!

jeannegibbs: A little extra gift-Not so much, e.g. yea, "here's a photo of us as a gift. We have given each other expensive gifts and that's all we had left was a photo of us SIL's in a cheap frame." They didn't say that, but should have because that was the reality of it!! They never learned social skills and three SIL's call themselves Christians.

Except ONE

Thank you, JessieBelle. The weirdo SIL'S can learn a new skill if they want to--socialization! Thing is none of except can grasp the concept!

Staceyb: The sister-in-law who screamed at me-that happened over the phone. Rethinking it, that was extremely generous of me NOT to hang up on her! She didn't even say hello for goodness sakes! I have changed my Social Media account so that the 3 dysfunctional SIL's can only see some of my posts. I would NEVER CONSIDER GIVING A PERSON A PHOTO OF MYSELF! HOW VERY SELF-SERVING THAT WAS OF THEM! One SIL is kind. I will stay away from the bad behaving ones as much as possible. My 70th birthday party is coming up on Saturday, January 14 and they had best not mess it up, else I WILL NOT RESPOND TO NASTY ATTITUDES! My husband did nothing wrong. In fact, only one of them had responded to my planned birthday party. I stood up trying to speak asking if any were coming to my birthday party, he stood up for me, saying in a loud voice the second or third "Nancy is trying to speak, please be quiet."

Each family has its own dynamics and traditions. I don't give birthday OR holiday gifts to my 12 nieces and nephews. My sons don't get presents from their aunts and uncles. This is just not something our family does. If that is generally true in your family, then the photograph is just a little extra. If your family is in the habit of giving elaborate gifts perhaps these aunts are trying to break that tradition. Or maybe they are just cheap and inconsiderate.

In any case, the appropriate response to a gift is "thank you," as your daughter knows.

How do you handle these people? As little as possible!

Llama, you can treat them like I do my SIL's. I am very nice to them when they are around me, then promptly forget them when they are not. I've known them a very long time, too, but what they do doesn't rattle me. I'm glad you don't have to live with them.

Oh, and I can't stand when someone gives pictures for presents. You feel like you need to display them, especially if they're coming to visit. But I don't like pictures of real people around me. It's like being watched. But beside that, pictures are something you just give someone. They aren't presents unless maybe you give them a portrait of themselves.

Llamalover, I don't know if there is anything you can do, other than refrain from engaging in further family gatherings, or to send out an email, to said SIL'S, and letbthem know how you truly feel! I can see no reason why she acted the way in which she did, the moment you arrived, except that possibly you somehow missed an email or correspondence from her, wanting you to bring something different or more to her gathering. Is it possible that your husband, maybe recieved information which he somehow failed to give to you, as I know that my husband has missed the mark on occasion, but still, for her to scream at you over something (and I still don't understand what), is completely unacceptable! I'm sorry you had to endure this on what was supposed to have been a nice occasion!

The birthday gift, again, kinda weird. Unless she somehow found out that you gave a simular gift, IDK, it just doesn't add up, and seems very deceitful on her part!

I mean really? Here's a pix of ONLY your 4 Aunties.....? What? Why wouldn't she have given her a pix that at least included her Dad in the pix, or you too? Another case of Twisted sister's is my guess, well at least one of them is a bit twisted. It sucks, having to deal with screwed up people, but sometimes that is what we get, when we marry into a dysfunction family. I know that I did! Big time!

Rainmom; I knew that you were teasing, just didn't want to give anyone else the wrong idea! The people in my family who are on the spectrum have enough challenges in our society; they don't need my unintentional "might have been seen as a jab" making things more difficult.

BarbBrooklyn- you may not have been joking but I was - well, teasing at any rate. I know you wouldn't say anything mean or insensitive. You are my geriatric psychiatrist crusading hero! Sorry if my tease missed the mark.

Pamstegma: I did not appreciate your thought process. As you had no idea what I have been enduring for 37 years from these individuals, why would you consider me to be drunk?

Churchmouse: "Handle" may have been the wrong word. "Tell them wbere to go in no uncertain terms" is a better application.

MsMadge: My daughter is 44.

Gershun: That's why I do. Stay away from people who are acrimonious! Don't need that person in my life if they're treating me poorly!!!!!!!!!

Send: I gave my daughter The Instant Pot for her birthday. Why would I combine birthday and Christmas gifts? That's unacceptable. There are too many gifts to name that I gave her for Christmas.

Send: xing them out of a photo is just engaging in their same rudeness. I will not be doing that.

Delete zip. Error

Sendme2help: I will not address any comment about December birthdays. It has no bearing on my question.Zip

Sendme2help: I do not need to reteach my daughter. I've done my job well. She appreciates gifts, but a photo of 4 aunts, 3 of which are self serving-a combined gift in a cheesy frame and was one given by 3 aunts was unkind.

BarbBrooklyn: No, not one has Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Next time, your husband can call his sister.

I'm not sure why you need to 'handle' them at all? Let them be. You didn't marry them.

Not trying to folks with autism a bad name by any stretch. Just wondering if the lack of perspective taking in this family might be attributed to that way of thinking, rather than to meanness, spite or nastiness. If I've offended anyone with my comment, I most sincerely apologize, but I meant it seriously as something to consider, not as a joke.

Is your daughter a child or an adult?

I'm not sure what Jewish apple cake is but the barefoot contessa has a recipe for apple cranberry cake which is really good

Do what I do with my sister-in-laws. Stay away from them as much as possible. When you are forced to be with them, smile sweetly and say nothing. If they confront you hysterically and treat you bad, leave.

Hey, hey, hey, now! Don't be giving folks with autism a bad name, BarbBrooklyn.