Thank you for all your suggestions. I'm not there anymore. She freaks out every now and then. I just happened to be there at the time.Her Mom says that's the way she use to be too,and she doesn't like the way it looks,but lives with her so her hands are tied. I didn't receive an apology, so I didn't see any reason to be there anymore. I believe a simple apology would have made a world of difference for my desire to stay or go.
Exactly Jessebelle, taking the higher road and trying to understand the client's daughter would be optimal. She obviously is someone who needs an "EGR" attitude by others. (Extra Grace Required).
I imagine that there is a lot more going on with her than a dirty dish. It may have just been that final thing that set off the tirade. An example of this type behavior could be if a person had a wreck on the way to work, then hobbled the car in to work to find someone had gotten their parking place. They were late, so the boss docked their pay and wrote them up. Then they drove home with heavy traffic. When they got home they saw there was a dirty dish on the counter, so the yelling begins. The family wonders what in the world -- it was just a dish. They didn't know that that dish was sitting on a whole background of things that had pushed the person to the edge. Do you know why the daughter could be so tense? I can think of a couple of things right away. Maybe it is best to wash the dish and not take it personally if it is the appropriate thing to do.
As a caregiver, you will be viewed as the family's employee also. Keep stressing that you are there for your client, no matter who pays you, and stand your ground.
Apologize for any errors and explain you are not familiar with their routines. Do this when the crazy lady calms down. Then tell them you will not be able to have your client upset by her family's issues. However, do not become a groveling, cowering, apologizing wimp because this will bring more rage upon you. Wow, the daughter does not understand the concept of making the punishment fit the alleged crime? She is on drugs, mentally ill, or a narcissist? Don't spend a moment wondering if you will be fired over a dish, because you most likely will be fired over a whim. So stand strong! Respect is taken, not given.
If you can, carry this concept in your mind: "If not me, you will be dealing with answering to APS for abuse". If that fits, but you don't have to say it.
Then, if this hurts you, causes you distress, report it to your agency (if there is one). If you are privately employed, and cannot ignore or avoid her, take a few days off. Consider returning to protect your client. Alternatively, consider sending in a tougher caregiver than yourself.
No one needs this at their job, and you are an adult. You don't need to be whipped into shape, broken, or walking on eggshells. Protect yourself.
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Keep stressing that you are there for your client, no matter who pays you,
and stand your ground.
Apologize for any errors and explain you are not familiar with their routines. Do this when the crazy lady calms down. Then tell them you will not be able to have your client upset by her family's issues. However, do not become a groveling, cowering, apologizing wimp because this will bring more rage upon you.
Wow, the daughter does not understand the concept of making the punishment fit the alleged crime? She is on drugs, mentally ill, or a narcissist? Don't spend a moment wondering if you will be fired over a dish, because you most likely will be fired over a whim. So stand strong! Respect is taken, not given.
If you can, carry this concept in your mind:
"If not me, you will be dealing with answering to APS for abuse".
If that fits, but you don't have to say it.
Then, if this hurts you, causes you distress, report it to your agency (if there is one). If you are privately employed, and cannot ignore or avoid her, take a few days off. Consider returning to protect your client. Alternatively, consider sending in a tougher caregiver than yourself.
No one needs this at their job, and you are an adult. You don't need to be whipped into shape, broken, or walking on eggshells. Protect yourself.