Long story I hope shortened enough. My father had a stroke 6 years ago and left the rehab facility before he was completely mobile. He was just sure he could do it on his own. After struggling for years (left side arm and leg almost completely immobile) he lost his home so we moved him into low income senior housing. He has continued to decline. He had a procedure for watermelon belly a year ago and November 24th surgery for a perforated stomach. He is now in an nursing home with pt, speech and ot everyday as he is unable to sit up, walk, needs 2 person assist for everything and is on nectar thick foods/beverages due to paralysis in his esophagus. They are tapering him off the specialist schedules as he is showing no progress and indicate he will likely go into long term care in the next 2 weeks.
My biggest worry and stress right now is his apartment and storage unit. Medicaid will take his SS and that is all the income he has. I was told to get rid of, sell, etc all of his belongings which makes me nervous. I don't think he is going to recover from this but the "what if" makes me worried about tossing his things. I want none of it as it all smells terrible of cat pee and cigarette smoke. It just seems wrong to throw someone's things in the dumpster. What has everyone else done? I am driving myself crazy with worry that he is going to be angry all of his stuff is gone.
9 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Mom downsized form a 3,000 square foot house that she had lived in for 50 years to an 1300 square foot apartment. Luckily(?) my brother helped himself to a lot of her stuff before I got to it but what was left filled at least two full sized dumpsters. She brought her favorite pieces with her.
Every so often, she asks what has happened to certain items and she often makes reference to needing them when she moves back home but, frankly, she will never be able to live alone again so I just distract her when the topic comes up.
ADVERTISEMENT
My mother, when I downsized her hoard, she was taken out to lunch and half her possessions got tossed/donated. She never noticed anything missing when she arrived in her new apt.
For my Dad he was happy to downsize, and when it came to move into Assisted Living one room apartment, I would joke with him that he is going back into time now moving back to a college dorm, as he brought along just about every book he owned. But this dorm won't be having any late night parties :)
During a time of transition when she was in hospital I stored most of her belongings from her apartment until we knew where she was going. It ended up that money was spent storing items most of which were given away eventually,.
Many places have larger rooms and can accommodate a small table and chairs, an upholstered chair and/or love seat etc, bookcases etc,
This is a very difficult time and I understand your reluctance to just toss your dad's things. I think most of us feel that way, but in the long run you have to be practical and it is only stuff most of which he doesn't need any more.
He may well be angry - all part of adjustment to the unpleasant changes that are happening to him. I am sorry. (((((((hugs))))))