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Alisajack Asked January 2017

I need a place my friend can go and enjoy so I can get away for a little while.

She is a Christian sister and friend. She has dementia. She is 88 and very amazing. Still cleans her house, does her own laundry, works puzzle books like you wouldn't believe. Very active and loves going on outings. She amazes me because she can roll her hair perfectly with no mirror. Very healthy except for the dementia. Very strong, was a skater alot in younger years. But the Dr. Doesn't want her alone. She needs guidence at times. All this but I need a place she can go and enjoy and I can get away for a little while and someone to talk to besides her. Can anyone help?

Alisajack Jan 2017
I got this stuff called smooth lax. It's a powder and resolves in any drink. I had a small glass with Gatorade and it's not bad. Started with less than half a dose and it worked next day. I think with fiber foods and a little of the smooth lax she is fine. Thanks Susan.

ASusan48 Jan 2017
Wonderful news, Alisajack! See, all it took was a phone call. :-) Glad you're getting a break.

As to the constipation, if she doesn't like prunes or prune juice, try raisin bran cereal every day. Mom used to occasionally have constipation issues and a bowl of raisin bran would do the trick every time. Once she went into the nursing home, she started having problems again, and they put her on Senna. I took her out for a day trip to her favorite destination, and the staff failed to tell me they had given her FOUR Senna tabs with her meds. Needless to say, we had a nice trip, but with some very unpleasant bathroom stops. I'm glad I brought extra clothing, baby wipes and extra depends. She had more than one blowout.
I told the staff to stop the Senna at my request, as her medical POA and to give her 2 small dishes of fruit with every meal, and raisin bran once per week. She never needed Senna again.

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Alisajack Jan 2017
Good news Starting soon, 4_6 hrs a week two times a week. Hooray I am so happy. El Hannora (Awesome God)

Alisajack Jan 2017
Thanks caring2 I was going to get prune juice. she might like prunes better. I think the meds might be causing it. I am really trying to focus on her diet. Especially brain foods. She had some success at 4 am.

Alisajack Jan 2017
I am not a child of hers, she has five daughters. Three out of state and two here. Not real close family but still concerned about the mom, just to much in their own lives. This lady is not mean or too hurtful, she loves Jesus but lies alot. Sometimes she will admit it but sometimes reluctant. Mostly if she doesn't want to get her waters down, she will lie and say she did. Sometimes lies about her cat care duties. But when I tell her there is no way around it she kindly agrees. She has a pretty cool cat and I am not a pet lover but it growed on me. Still she has to care for and does a good job. I just have to let her know I am paying attention. I am assuming she has been lying way before I came 8 months ago. I lived with her two years in 2012&13 and was over the road. She stayed by herself then. I would call her every day but would be gone week. She has changed and I can see a difference. difference​. It's the 24/7 thing. I take her every where with me and need to find a get away from her once a week to be with others besides her. I just got on here and been reading alot of really good stuff, excited about checking them out on Monday. Is this lying part of up bringing or the disease. I know the forgetting causes some unintentional lies, but what about the other. She agrees it's not of God.

caring2 Jan 2017
Constipation - my mom suffered from that and was even hospitalized. Then I heard about prunes and that stuff is miraculous. She eats about six dried prunes a day and no problem now. Maybe that will work for your friend too?

Alisajack Jan 2017
There's one place here listed for a place she can go and enjoy herself and others. Call on Monday.

Alisajack Jan 2017
Thanks freqflyer

Alisajack Jan 2017
Thanks susan

Alisajack Jan 2017
I already fill better just talking to someone besides her. I don't have alot to complain about. Right now she has some constipation and I have feed her everything with fiber.

freqflyer Jan 2017
Alisajack, like Susan said above, we can be your support group.   Welcome to the forums :)

Finding a caregiver's support group can be difficult because a vast majority of caregivers cannot get away to attend a support group.   I live in a very large metro area, and there wasn't one group close enough for me to drive for meetings.   This forum became my "group", the information and suggestions have been excellent.

ASusan48 Jan 2017
Alisajack - check also with your local agency on aging about support for caregivers. There may be support groups in your area. If all else fails and you just need to vent, come here and vent away - there are threads on here like "This is my whine today, what's yours" where you can simply whine, complain, vent, yell, scream - all online where no one will judge you for complaining about the tough job that is caregiving. We've all been there.

Alisajack Jan 2017
Thanks, I plan to tomorrow. I also would like to talk about support group to meet friends who are informed about it.

ASusan48 Jan 2017
Alisajack - contact your local agency on aging to see if they have a caregiver respite program. If they don't, perhaps they can refer you to a local program that can help. There are also adult day care or "friend" programs at your local agencies that might be able to take her off your hands for a few hours a day or even just once a week in order to give you a break. If all else fails, call Adult Protective Services and ask them if there is a caregiver respite program that can help.

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