Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
✕
Join Now Log In
1
1111mary Asked January 2017

Can anyone please give me a suggestion on how to get my brother-in-law to at least try a memory day care?

Really need some help. My husband and I have set up a visit for all 3 of us to check out the program, it's affiliated with U of M so we know it will be good. The problem is my Bil is 71 but most days he thinks he is 46, so we're supposing he will veto it without giving it a chance. His dr. recommended it because he is frustrated anxious and completely bored can not even concentrate on a football game anymore. It would be so good for him to socialize if for no other reason it wouldn't be just family (which he is sick of !) Here's the problem we don't know how to tell him, my husband, thinks we should just walk into this place with him and not even tell him what it is we'll meet with the director and everything would just work out-------to me this sounds nuts, but maybe i'm wrong. Hub said if i have a better plan then we'll try it, but i honestly don't know what to do, Please if anyone has a suggestion would you please pass it my way. HELP

7 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
M
MsMadge Feb 2017
Wow - 71 is very young, but if you believe that one day BIL will need to be placed in a facility for 24/7 care then he will be better off having been around other people and getting used to strangers helping him with things now 

If you cannot reason with him then ask the center for suggestions 
Helpful Answer (0)
J
jeannegibbs Feb 2017
My husband went to an Adult Day Health Program 3 days a week for about 2 years. It was simply not negotiable. "Honey, you know I am doing everything I possibly can to keep you here at home. To do that I must have some time to myself, to go into the office, to have my teeth cleaned, and just to relax. You need to do your part to make this work. We are at least going to try this day program." Of course he insisted that he could stay home alone, I could go out anytime, etc. But I didn't budge. And once he got into it he did enjoy it.

Get him there by any means, fair or foul. If simply telling him the truth would work, as it did with my husband, then try that!
Helpful Answer (2)

ADVERTISEMENT

L
LindaIken123 Feb 2017
As you told he doesn’t remember his age, then there can be a major issue with his memory. You can take him directly to a great memory care taker who will make him focus on things he is doing and can remind him about the things he has done till now. And for doing this you can just told him about his problems and if you think that that’s not a good idea then you can lie him about watching live football match with all memory care patients so that they can also enjoy and think that not only family is there who take care of them. If you think, this also not going to work then you can lie about your husband that he needs a checkup or you can say about yourself. Any idea will work over here just be sure to take him to only experienced memory care takers.
Helpful Answer (0)
Z
zythrr Jan 2017
Have you tried online chat? Maybe he is interacting with people face to face
Helpful Answer (0)
A
anonymous281963 Jan 2017
Trickery Cwillie? That is the best idea, imo.
Everyone knows that you don't have to "read of someone" to come up with really great tricks of your own! Lol.

There was a real crazy idea I had just the other day, and I think it started with this thread, about daycare. What if I became the daycare here at my home, then family would pick up my loved-one-elder and take him home.

'Absolutely NOT, I could not possibly do that', as I was talking to myself.
Guess that visiting at his home will just have to do for now.
Helpful Answer (1)
A
anonymous281963 Jan 2017
Go with him, say, " it's a social club, you are thinking of joining, will he go with you if you pay for a week,"? say that, go together. How old do you think you are, and will hubs be on standby if they mistake you for a client of daycare and want to keep you?
Helpful Answer (1)
C
cwillie Jan 2017
How about trickery? I remember reading of someone who thought they were going there to volunteer to help all those other people ;)
Helpful Answer (1)

ADVERTISEMENT

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question

Ask a Question Post Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter
Enter Your Email Sign Up