Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
D
dirish22 Asked March 2017

At what point should I consider memory/assisted living for my mother?

She is currently living in a Sr Independent living facility. she will not clean her home or food shop. I have a cleaning lady coming in and we do the food shopping. That has stopped her from eating fast food daily. She is active with church and water aerobics. A big concern is her lack of self. She doesn't notice or care if she is dirty. She doesn't remember to brush teeth. She wears the same clothes daily....even underwear. She will put her dirty clothes back in closet. The only time she bathes is when she goes to water aerobics. I live an hour away and cannot check in with her daily.

JWatkins Mar 2017
I helped care for my grandmother and later my mother. Those experiences led me to help others walking similar paths. I now help families find caregivers to do those daily tasks they can no longer manage. This helps our loved ones stay in their homes as long as possible. It may be worth a conversation.

dirish22 Mar 2017
Apparently,The lack of grooming bothers me more than it bothers her. It just sad to see . She used to care about her appearance.

ADVERTISEMENT


dirish22 Mar 2017
She does not do laundry. The process now confuses her. I pick up laundry....but there might be only 1 or 2 things in the laundry basket after a 2 week time period. I have to go through her closet looking for dirty clothes. As far as brushing her teeth goes, the tube of toothpaste looks unused and her tooth brush never wears down. The dentist said it looks as if she is not brushing. We now bring her to dentist 3-4 x per year .

freqflyer Mar 2017
It sounds like senior apartments where one pays rent according to their income. Is that correct?

Since your Mom is active with church and water aerobics, then it appears she is doing well, and doesn't need Memory Care. Not grooming isn't always an indication that her memory is slipping, sounds more like grooming isn't that important to her right now. Nothing wrong with wearing the same clothing two days in a row or every other day.

Just curious, how do you know that Mom isn't changing her clothes daily and not brushing her teeth?

dirish22 Mar 2017
we get her housekeeping and meals-on-wheels through the state program. Its completely independent living for seniors. They do not check-in on their tenants.

freqflyer Mar 2017
dirish, if your Mom is already living in an Independent Living facility, the facility will let you know when it is time to transfer Mom to Assisted Living/Memory Care.

It's interesting that your Mom's facility doesn't have housekeeping and/or linen service for their residents. Or offer either 1 meal or 3 meals a day at the common dining room. Are these optional costs?

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter