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HoPaWa Asked March 2017

Nanny is being forced to go into a nursing home a long way away from me.

Hi My nanny suffered with a stroke at the start of the year but has now recovered really well , she is diabetic and needs injections 3 times a day We were told by social services that she is to be released and to find her a Care Home which we did ,a lovely one , but as a day after we had arranged for her to move in the Doctors at the hospital said she could go in she needed a Nursing Home and social services agreed , with this i was given a list of homes to ring many of them were dementia (which she does not have)only and all others were full or wouldn't take her for various different reasons , I have now been told that the hospital really want her out and that only homes they could find are over a hour and a half away from the rest of the family , i do not feel this is going to be good for her as we are all so busy that finding the time to do a 3hr round trip is going to so hard fit in although we will do it , but i am just wondering if there is a way to stop them sending her so far away and feeling like we have just forgotten about her , i honestly don't think the doctors or social services would let one of their elderly relatives be pushed so far away , please help as i am at the end of my tether with all this they have messed me about so much and i feel like they really don't care and always have an answer for whatever i say even though its usually its not our fault or problem

daughterlu Apr 2017
An hour and a half is too far away. Home Care or a NH closer to you would be better. We found Mother's Assisted Living Facility by getting in the car and visiting facilities near our home. Don't trust anyone else to do the homework for you. Sometimes it is politics or an arrangement between two Corporations where they recommend the facility even though it is not convenient for the family. They could be doing favors for each other. If it is Medicaid, I heard of one facility that transfers their private pay residents to a Facility in their chain for medicaid in a remote area when the resident outlives their money. in any event, look around yourself and be sure to ask residents families how the facility treats the resident. Good luck.

jitendra000557 Mar 2017
so sad that in a short time you suffered from stoke and diabetes...do take proper care diabetes can lead to many complication if not handle with proper care..!!

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Llamalover47 Mar 2017
What did the Hospitalist say? The Hospitalist is the doctor who will monitor the patient.  Hospitals oftentimes have to wait for a Medicare bed to open up and generally it would be close for relatives, but it's not always a close NH.

jackie18 Mar 2017
Something doesn't make sense. For the near future after discharge she should be allowed to have homecare with a visiting nurse and home attendants giving care as well as physical therapy.
Is she competent enough and physically capable enough to learn to give herself insulin? If she can be taught to self test and inject then she can tend to her own diabetic needs. If she is not able to do this, one or another member of the family might be able to assist with this. It beats everyone driving 3 hours round trip to visit. The money you all save on gas by not traveling to see her could be spent on a private caretaker for a couple of hours a day to shop/cook tidy the house, if the family members are busy .
The other thing you need to know is that you can get her released from a nursing home. They cannot keep her there if she and family want her home. Nursing homes might give you a hard time because they make money by having her there ( from insurance or medicare). But I have assisted in getting people released from nursing homes after they have been admitted , if there was competent and comprehensive care by family at home, and proper community medical follow up.
I hope you have some success with this. If she wants to be home, she can be. There are alternatives to nursing homes for long term care.

anonymous476223 Mar 2017
That doesn't sound right at all! Find out your rights about that!
Care home is what?? Assisted living? My mom, as a brittle diabetic (really really bad diabetes) did fine in assisted living. Don't let them bully your family around!

Ann1971 Mar 2017
As long as you say no they can't move her get w LOA in your area get them to help.

jeannegibbs Mar 2017
HoPaWa, what is your situation now? Where is Nanny? I'm sure the hospital has not kept her the two weeks since you've posted.

Sunnygirl1 Mar 2017
If she isn't incompetent, then why is the county dictating where she goes to live? Is the county her Guardian? If not, she's able to make her own decisions about where she lives. What's preventing that? Is there something that is making the county and the doctor want her in a facility rather than a family member's home or a Nursing home near family.  I don't understand.

MsMadge Mar 2017
Sorry for your situation- it is very stressful to be told to make a decision in a hurry
One doctor told me don't overthink it - I didn't care too much for his opinion

I suspect if your nanny needs insulin injections that this is why she will need skilled nurses not just custodial care of room and board

Place her the best place you can - folks at my mom's facility come from all over and visit once a week

Countrymouse Mar 2017
So, sorry, why can't she be discharged to the nice nursing home near you?

Hospitals and doctors do keep lists of NHs to help people who need to find them. Doesn't necessarily mean you have to pick only from those ones, does it? Has someone said so?

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