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Liztini75 Asked March 2017

How long should I wait?

After 4 going on 5 very long years caring for my father. My father has finally agreed to move into a nursing home. We toured last week. (He really enjoyed the tour we had and the accommodations they would offer him for his declining health) He actually was quite excited and asked when he could move-in!!!!! I was thrilled to see him like this. Actually enthusiastic. He would be in the "Assisted Living" area to start out but they also have additional areas of care for future if or when needed... My question is to any of you...With experience in this type of transition into a NH. (The NH said he was 3rd on the waitlist. Possibly 2nd because they had not turned in application as of yet.) So I went ahead the day of our tour I gave them the $250 non refundable waitlist deposit as well as the pre-admission application. I have asked multiple times since the tour...The NH will not give me an "Estimate" on what kind of time frame we are actually looking at. They said it is too hard to guess. Which I totally understand anything could happen...Typically what would a wait time be for nursing home. How long should I wait? I was hoping to have him moved with-in the next month or so. I did email them again today asking them in the past what was a typical wait period for move in/out at their facility. I need to have some sort of a date...Although It makes me feel tons better knowing my father has agreed to this but at the same time If the wait is too long I do not want his mind to change. I also need to know how I am going to proceed moving forward with my life. I can not make any decisions until I have him set-up in a place he is comfortable. Is this too much to ask of them? Or Should I just go ahead and try to find another place that he likes that can give me a better idea of move in date. Happy! But...Confused! 😩 Please! Give me some feed back...

freqflyer Mar 2017
Liztini75, it is extremely difficult to know when a room will be available. When my Dad wanted to move to a senior complex, it was in the middle of winter, and the facility had a lovely apartment which would be ready in a couple of weeks as they were updating it. Dad even got a discount as no one on the waiting list wanted a 2 bedroom unit during Christmas. Dad was thrilled with the place.

On the other side of the coin, I had placed a $1k deposit [refundable] at another complex just in case. Come to think of it, I need to contact that place and ask for my deposit back. It's been almost a year, and no openings, unless Dad's name fell through the cracks.

You never know, an opening could come tomorrow, or 6 months from now. Keep your fingers crossed.

Countrymouse Mar 2017
In one facility I looked at, there were no rooms left but there was a suite available: the facility was brand new, the paint was hardly dry and they were still landscaping the gardens. In another, we were still on the waiting list when my mother died. Good ones tend to be over-subscribed. Then again, you could get a call next week.

The only other thing I can suggest is looking at other places too. You could do this on your own, and only take your father if there is one you're sure he'll like just as much and if it does have a vacancy. You might lose your deposit, though; but at least the search will give you something to take your mind off the waiting.

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pamstegma Mar 2017
There is a big difference between nursing home and assisted living. There is also a big difference between private pay and going in Medicaid.
If he is going in to AL on private pay, you won't be waiting for long.

Liztini75 Mar 2017
Obviously this is a sensitive situation for move in/out residents. Like I said this particular place offers a variety of living and caring options for all stages of health. To put someone on a waiting list for a non-refundable fee and not be able to at least give some sort of an idea based on past move in/outs is all I was asking. I know nothing is set in stone nor do I wish to think that in order for my father to have a happy place someone else has to pass away...

For some whom live there they may move for other reasons. It is a "Private" pay NH maybe they could no longer afford or perhaps their health has improved and they do not need assistance any-longer.

I was simply asking the group in "General" What was the wait time you experienced when moving your loved one into a NH?

I have never done this before so have no idea what to expect. This being the reason I'm asking...

Thanx!

Countrymouse Mar 2017
This is extremely frustrating. Unfortunately what Cwillie says is exactly the point, sad though it is to think of it.

Could you take your father there for occasional lunches or activities, to keep his enthusiasm ticking over and so that he can meet some of the other residents? Worth asking, perhaps.

cwillie Mar 2017
Think about it, the only way for a room to open up is for someone to die or move out, there really is no way to accurately predict either event.

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